***1***
***2***
11+ weeks of bed rest did it's toll on me physically! It's been a long 11 days trying to build up my strength and endurance again. Each day gets better thankfully! I was able to walk up the stairs at the hospital yesterday for the first time and was able to skip the stinky elevator! Though being the mother of a NICU baby is exhausting in it's own right. I am hoping that by the time Noah gets home I should be in better shape and ready to handle an infant day in and out!
***3***
I have cooked one meal since I've been home. Thankfully, we've had a few friends drop off some meals off and that go us through the first few days home. Otherwise, I am sad to say we have eaten out way too much! That's the next hurdle I hope to handle. I did manage to go grocery shopping and get a few easy meals to make. Now it's just doing that....wish me luck! Eating out doesn't help losing the baby weight for sure.
***4***
Breast milk is referred to as "liquid gold" in the NICU. We had decided we were going to breast feed almost immediately when we found out I was pregnant. But I've got to say in all honesty....it's a TON of work having to pump 8-10 times a day. (Yes, I am up at 3am each night to pump...) Between the washing of bottles, leaking all the day (thank God for breast pads), and extreme thirst...sometimes I have to remind myself that I am giving my son the best gift I can right now. I think it will be more rewarding when I can actually nurse my son the majority of the time versus having to pump.
I won't stop regardless because I know it's so great for Noah, but it is indeed the first of many sacrifices I will make for my child.
***5***
I've been thinking a lot about our first son, Jackson, these days. As grateful as I am for his brother, I am saddened a bit by the fact that we never got the chance to enjoy Jackson like we are Noah. Many people may think that just because we have a 2nd son, our sadness over losing our first child is lessened. That may make logical sense to some of you, but I have to say that is very far from the truth. Noah didn't replace Jackson. Jackson will always be our first born and every day I am disappointed that he was taken from us so soon. He would be almost 10 months old now...sometimes I wonder what he would look like, what he would be doing now, and how different our lives would be if he was still here. But, alas, he's not here. Instead we have this little saint in heaven praying for his family here on earth.
***6***
Fall is my absolute favorite time of year!! I love pumpkins, apples, leaves, cider, CANDY CORN, and just about anything else that comes with fall! I am glad that if Noah had to come early, which we of course wish he didn't, at least I get to enjoy some of fall. It really has been so enjoyable for me.
Speaking of pumpkins...this is my favorite pumpkin of all. ;)
***7***
My favorite part of every day is holding my son. We can only do so for about 2 hrs a day total at this point. So those 2 hours are like heaven for me.
My least favorite part of each day is leaving the hospital each night. I can't wait until my boy comes home for good. I will say however, I am so thankful that he is receiving the best care from some of the best doctors and nurses out there. It makes leaving a little bit easier.....
OK...back up to the hospital!! Enjoy your weekend!
