7 Quick Takes:Take 34.5

Take 34.5?  Well that's how old Noah is gestationally....so why not??

Let's get to it....

***1***

My friend Gail taught me a lot of things in life, but one little thing I picked up from her was buying yourself flowers.  My husband, well...my husband is a lot of things wonderful, but he stinks at sending me flowers or other little gifts. (Don't worry...I tell him this all the time.) So, today I bought myself flowers.  I love having flowers in the house.  I bought a lovely bouquet of mixed flowers in wonderful hues of fall.  Flowers make me happy!

***2***

I mentioned last week that I have been nesting lately.  Well the nesting lives on....so far this week I have tackled the pantry and our front hall closet!  Plus a few other areas of the house that needed organizing and going through.  After a trip to our local Good Will for drop off I am sure our little house is breathing easier now that a few more items have left the premises.  It feels SO GOOD getting rid of stuff!  The older and wiser I get the more I appreciate having less stuff! Do you know that I donated 5 winter coats???  Why would anyone need 5 winter coats!? People are freezing and need coats.  I felt good about my donation. (Though slightly gluttonous with myself...)

***3***

I made a big decision yesterday for Noah and for myself.  You see, sometimes newborns don't latch on well with breast feeding.  Now take a little preemie with less energy, coordination, and age and it doesn't often go too well.  I, however, was hell bent that he was going to take to breast feeding and was really pushing him to nurse each feeding I was there.  He would latch on and do ok, but he was rarely successful beyond a few minutes of sporadic nursing.  One of things preventing Noah from coming home right now is that he needs to be able to nipple all feedings.  Noah does really well with the bottle.  So yesterday, Tom and I talked and decided it was time for us to focus on bottling well so we can get him home.  Every bit of energy we waste on him trying to breast feed prevents him from coming home sooner.  What's important to us is that he gets the breast milk, how he gets the milk is less important.  So for now I will commit to pumping and helping my little guy be successful feeding from the bottle.  We may try the breast again once he's home and we can focus a little more and he's a little older.  As soon as we made the decision, I was so relieved.  I didn't realize how much pressure I was putting on both of us.  I had to accept that I wasn't a failure of a mother because my child isn't breast feeding and although I dread not being able to put away my pump, the important thing is that he is getting that "liquid gold." 

***4***

Today I saw this on my grief supports' wall. 



It touched me so much that I hope to soon write a reflection blog soon about surviving the last year.  This coming Monday will be a year since I first found out about my cervix issues, and our angel Jackson's 1st birthday is approaching too.  I can't believe all that's happened in a year and I am still here to talk about it.   But anyways....stay tuned.

***5***

I find the whole Obama care, health insurance crisis,....blah, blah, blah...to be annoying and a real pain in my hiney.  We had to choose a whole new compliant insurance plan this week. (We buy our own insurance since the hubster is self employed...)  It's so confusing! Which is the better plan, most cost efficient, the right fit for our family???  Anyways, I don't want to open a debate on all of this, I am just saying I am sick of politicians messing up our lives with plans that promise to be better for us all.  Did I mention our rates went up despite promises that it wouldn't?  I will leave it at that.....

***6***

I love fall.  I love when the leaves change color and are so beautiful to look at.  I hate however when they fall to the ground and require raking.  That is all.

***7***

The hardest part for me leaving Noah in the NICU each night is thinking that he may be crying and the nurses might not be able to console him or cuddle him at that moment.  They are wonderful, but there are lots of babies who need care and sometimes a crying baby can immediately be attended to.  I hate it.  Anyways, today as I walked into the NICU my worst fear came true.  I heard a child crying rather loudly and recognized immediately just who's cry it was!  Mom was running 5 minutes late and my little boy was hungry!!  I was amazed that of the 35 babies in the NICU currently and all the bells and alerts going on, I knew it was my kid immediately.  I guess it's true that they say you know your child's cry.  Don't worry....he got extra cuddles afterwards.



Have a great weekend everyone!! 

7 Quick Takes: A Day Early...

It's been a long while since I've blogged.  I keep meaning to do it, but ummm....I'm a mom now, and even though my little guy isn't home yet, multiple visits to the NICU each day and pumping 8 times a day has kind of thrown off any mojo that I once had and well blogging has gone right out the window.  But tonight I have decided to give myself a coffee break and sit down and write.  I need to write.  I need to let it all out!  So if anyone actually reads this that will be great....if not, hopefully my head will be clearer and my day just a little bit better.

***1***

My son has been in the hospital now for 6 weeks and 3 days...that totals out to 45 whole days in the NICU.  For me that totals out to roughly 90 trips to the hospital and countless hours spent by his side.  Add this to the 3 weeks I spent in the hospital prior to his arrival and I will tell you that I am just about done with my dear friends at the hospital.  They have all been wonderful let me tell you, but if I never see the inside of our hospital it will be soon enough.  I CANNOT wait to get our son home and begin our journey as a family together.   Just a few more weeks...I can do this, but tonight it feels like an insurmountable task.  Dear God give me some patience!

***2***

This past weekend something clicked in.  Many of you have experienced it, but it kind of caught me by surprise.  I am officially nesting!  The hours not spent taking care of my son and visiting with him are spent getting this house, which has been sorely neglected in the last year, up to par!  I am like a wild woman!  Hanging pictures, pitching junk, piles for Goodwill, deep cleaning...this mama is nesting and every where I look there is something else to tackle.  I have never had such a desire to simplify and organize as I have this last week.  I am happy with my progress, but there is still so much to do!  One day, one room at a time, but hopefully by the time our little guy is ready to be home I will feel that our house is better prepared to welcome him.

***3***

Becoming a mom has quickly made me realize I need to get much, much more organized.  I have never been good at house keeping, perhaps I am lazy, perhaps it just doesn't come naturally to me, but whatever the reason is, it hasn't ever been my forte. But since Noah has been here Tom and I have laughed that we have yet to be on time to most places and we really need to get our act together!  I am learning to put things away after I use them or bring them home.  It makes things a lot easier to find when you are rushing to get out of the door.  I am learning to not be a pile-er.  I have a tendency to pile things, especially mail and other papers, to go through at another time.  Unfortunately, this leads to lots of clutter.  We have started to come up with some organization to this so that it doesn't overtake our kitchen table again.  I can't tell you, in all seriousness, how hard this is for me.  I am really struggling.  I am trying like hell, and remind myself several times during the day how taking these extra steps now, will make things so much easier later, but it's a conscious effort each and every time.  I have also adopted a daily cleaning schedule which focuses on a room each day.  So far, I haven't stuck to it completely only because some of my rooms took extra days because I really need to organize and purge before they were acceptable to me.  But I think it's good in concept and I hope I can stick to it and make it work for me.  This week and next week are really devoted to getting each of the rooms up to par, so that from here on out it will be maintenance only.  In theory of course....

***4***

The last couple days I have been tackling our master bedroom.  We are blessed to have a wonderfully large bedroom, but unfortunately it's on the second floor so nobody sees it but us.  So you can imagine what happened.  It was often in chaos and disarray.  It was better than ever, but it always bothered me that we didn't have a nice bedroom to go to at night.  We purchased a new bed this past winter and have been working to declutter too.  I've gotten rid of lots of clothes and shoes, especially since I don't work anymore.  Today though I decided that enough is enough!  I wanted our bedroom not only to be clean, but to be nice.  A place I want to go to.  Did I tell you I've started making our bed each morning?  I can't believe how much nicer it feels to go to bed with a nicely made bed each night!  Anyways, I hung the pictures and shelves that have been sitting on the floor and ironing board forever. (Have you seen the masking tape trick for hanging things that need 2 nails??  Brilliant!)  My husband was pleasantly surprised when he came home and went upstairs to see our room warmed up with artwork, pictures, and shelves.  Yes, we may have ugly red carpet for now and wood paneling too! (Yuck!) But at least it's a little more homey, a little more inviting, definitely cleaner, and who knows....maybe this winter (ok, probably spring) we will finally get around to painting and updating our poor room.  Until then...this will work.

***5***

The other thing neglected in my life was...well...me.  That is, since I had Noah I ate anything and everything and actually gained weight after his birth!  Can you say emotional eating???  Well, it was back to Weight Watchers for this foodaholic!  I weigh in tomorrow for the first time. I have done really well this week and hopefully with my extra activity cleaning it will pay off at the scale.  Regardless I already feel better, have more energy, and have made so many better food choices.  Food is my alcohol and I was seriously out of control.  I knew I needed to get it in check before it got worse! I will soon have a little boy to chase around the house and I need to be in shape in order to do so.  Thankfully, one of my dear friends is going with me and we have been able to be a great support to one another!  Thank goodness for friends like her. 

***6***

Coffee...well it is life for now.  Need I say more?

***7***

Christmas is roughly 50 days away!  I have found myself turning on the carols from time to time already and enjoying some of my favorite jingles! (I know it's not Thanksgiving yet, and I can see some of you shaking your heads and scoffing, but frankly, I don't really care.  It's my happy place while driving.)  Anyways, today I was thinking that Christmas will be so special this year because I will be celebrating Christmas as a mom!  Yes, Noah is not going to remember this Christmas, and don't worry, we aren't buying him much, but I think this Christmas is going to be so special for Tom and I.  I can't wait to get Noah's picture in front of our tree, perhaps we will even make a brief trip out to meet Santa.  It's the most wonderful time of the year for sure!  Feliz Navidad!

Well, my coffee break is over and it's time to head back to my favorite place in the world (cough, cough...) and tuck our little guy in for the night.  Bon nuit!