Six months ago, somewhere around 2:30 in the afternoon, my husband and I made some very special vows to each other. You all know the words..."for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer...til death do us part." Today, as I was reflecting on six months of marriage (I know, that's like a blink for those of you who have been on the marriage train for years now...but nonetheless...) I was thinking about those words we vowed to each other and it got me thinking that we've learned a lot in just a few mere months.
...for better or worse...
Many would argue that we are still in the honeymoon of our marriage, and I am sure that's true, but I have to be honest..I love being married. I can't help but smile most days when Tom pulls in the driveway at the end of a long day work and kisses me as he asks, "What's for dinner?" Dinner, another thing I love. I love to cook for my husband and try out new recipes. Yes, some nights that means carry out, but most nights I cook for us and I love it. I love sleeping next to my dear husband who snores sometimes and steals the blankets too, but there is nothing better than reaching over at 3 am and knowing that he's there. I love just being with him. If it's watching seasons of
The West Wing on Netflix or going for a walk, we truly enjoy being together. In fact, it's amazing how much I enjoy just being home with my hubby. This is saying a lot for a girl who normally was never to be home. My husband has taught me how to relax, (a common phrase he uses when in my presence) slow down, and enjoy the little things. I'd like to think that I have taught him how to laugh a little more and put himself out there. I think we've created a nice balance. Life for us both has gotten better for sure with marriage.
But alas, these past 6 months haven't been all smiles and sunshine. If you want to be made keenly aware of your faults...get married. ;) Not because my husband points them out to me, but because being a wife is work. (a husband too...) Moving in together, especially in your 30's after being independent for a long time, is a challenge. Honey-do lists, dirty socks on the side of the bed, dirty dishes, bills, phone calls, chores...all of them are adjustments for both husband and wife. There have been a few nights on the couch for us, there have been some angry departures as we walk out the door, and there have been some not so nice words exchanged (mostly by this potty mouth...:/) We've learned how to fight (and luckily how to make up ;) We have both worked on things that annoy the other, although we are definitely a work in progress. We are trying and because of that becoming better spouses in the end. Isn't that all that really matters?
...in sickness and in health...
Tom and I were just laughing the other day about being nurse versus being a patient. I came to this conclusion; He is a much better nurse and I am a much better patient. Truly. My husband is a saint. He is so good about being there for me when I am sick. Especially when I was on bed rest for 6 weeks. He never (well hardly ever...) complained about getting me medicine, water, or whatever else I needed at that moment. He has been to our local Walgreen's at 3am and has taken time off of work on numerous occasions to take me to the doctor. He just does what needs to be done and doesn't complain or act put out of place because of it. When he is sick however....well let's just say, and all the ladies out there will agree with me, he's a man. He's a man, and like most men, he can't help it if the sniffles seem like the end of the world (at least for me, the one taking care of him they do...enter not so good nurse...) and he's certain he has Mersa, pneumonia, and a 104 degree fever. Although I love my husband dearly, I am not nearly as doting or patient as he is in this situation. I am not proud of it, but after reminding my dear, sweet husband to take his medicine AGAIN for the 300th time, I just lose it! I suppose I should work on this....I am a good patient most days though I swear!
...for richer or poorer...
Just like most couples combining money is always a little bit tricky in the beginning. We've stumbled through the bills, looked at the budgets, decided who was the payer of the bills (that's me, just in case you are wondering...) and who is the maker of the money (that's my hubby). I am blessed to be a homemaker, and although I don't bring in an extra income for our family, it works for us. We are by no means the richest folk in town. No extravagant vacations, our clothes usually were bought on sale or with a coupon, and certain purchases have to wait a few months. But, to be perfectly honest, I don't ever notice us going without. There is food in our cupboards (have I ever told you about my ridiculous amount of canned goods I have at all times?) heat in our house, and we even get to go out to eat a couple times a week. We love our season tickets to the Dearborn Players Guild, our pass to the Henry Ford, and taking little trips here and there around the great state of Michigan. For 2013 we are working hard to cut costs and pay off debts, so we can be even more financially free. My husband is working hard each day to provide for his family and I could not be more proud of his work ethics and dedication. I am learning to curb my Target purchases (though the tempting 5% off each time using our Red Card trips me up from time to time...) and learning the joy that comes from cutting out my coupons each week and checking my iPhone before I shop at a store for online coupons. We try to eat up our leftovers instead of running up to the local fast food joints. We do what we can so we can enjoy our life and not worry about money so much.
But in the end, we are more rich than poor. Mostly because, despite what our bank account may or may not say, we have each other. And not only do we have each other, we also have so many wonderful family and friends. With the tragedy of losing our son prematurely, it's caused me to really evaluate our life and happiness. Life is hard...even when you are married, but at the end of the day if you have each other and the love of friends and family, you will survive. There will be sickness, sorrow, and fights. Some days will be bad and you might even go to bed angry from time to time. But you will get up the next day and remember why you married that handsome man in the first place.
So 6 months might not be all the impressive, my aunt and uncle have been married for 24 years today (that's impressive), we've had some battles to fight, sadness to endure, and making up to do. But when I woke up this morning, my husband took me in his arms and told me he loved me. And that folks tells me that we are going to make it...We meant those vows when we repeated them to each other on that hot July afternoon, and we make them still.
Til death do us part....
I love you. honey. :)
