7 Quick Takes: The NYE edition

Ok, so it's Tuesday and Quick Takes are for Fridays, but Noah is sleeping, I have no motivation to get off the couch today, and I have been wanting to blog for weeks now....so we are going to go with it! Can you believe 2013 is coming to an end in just a few short hours? Wow! What a year it's been! I have written more than enough about the year we have had, and so I won't go there in this post, but let's just say we are looking forward to a calmer, less hospital visits, 2014! Please know of our prayers for you and your family as we approach the New Year!

***1***

Yesterday morning we said good bye to my parents after a 2.5 week visit from them.  I have to admit having house guests for that long, even if you love them dearly, is a challenge for both the hosts and the guests, but we did pretty well! My parents were such a blessing to Tom and I.  My mom took a few 1am feedings allowing Tom and I to catch up on some sleep.  We enjoyed watching Noah bond with his grandparents and make his first Christmas memories! Papa even donned a Santa Claus outfit so that Noah could have his first picture with Santa.  It was a special Christmas indeed. 

I have to say though, I cried like a baby when my parents left this time.  My mom is usually the crier in our family, but this time we both cried.  It's hard having snowbirds for parents.  It's harder now that we have Noah and we miss having Nana and Papa around.  I think you realize just how badly you need your parents when you become a parent yourself. 

 

 

 

***2***

 

Well, I guess I should publicly declare what my New Year's Resolutions are for 2014.  I know most will fail or give up, but I think it's important to have a goal or strive always to be better.  So here's what I am working on.  Getting back to Weight Watchers! I am thankful my good friend is taking the plunge with me so that we can support each other. Tom and I are also looking for a gym to join where we can both work on getting healthier. I also want to continue to work on my cleaning and organizing around these parts.  I am learning how to do that now that we have a new addition to the household that complicates things a bit (I probably should be cleaning now instead of blogging).  I love that our house has come so far and I don't want to let that slip.  Another goal I have is to start listening to Christian music again more regularly.  Kind of under the whole mindset of "garbage in, garbage out."  There is a new Contemporary Christian station in the Detroit area. 106.3 is finally home to KLove.  (Sorry, WMUZ...you suck.)  I have enjoyed listening to the songs and adding a few new songs to my repertoire. 

 

 

***3***

 

Speaking of things that should be on my NY Resolution list...how about my obsession with Diet Coke?  And not just any Diet Coke, but fountain Diet Coke.  Like in ginormous amounts.  I seriously need a 12 step program.  I told my Weight Watcher buddy that I was going to give up pop for a week so I could increase my water intake.  I went out to lunch and drank THREE large Diet Cokes!  I have no will power when it comes to my favorite carbonated drink. 

 

***4***

 

"Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  "I am rubber, you are glue.  Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you."   Whoever made up these silly children's rhymes didn't clearly understand the power of words.  In recent months, there have been some comments made to me both on Facebook and in person that have hurt me to the core.  Especially when they come from people you care deeply about.  I have been hurt so much that I have considered getting off Facebook, something that is not a surprise to anyone that I really enjoy.  What is most hurtful, however, is most of these comments are said with an "LOL" attached or in a joking manner.  So as if to say I can't be hurt because the person was just joking.  But even if someone is just joking, or thinks that if you put it a "LOL" with it then it's not a big deal, it IS a BIG deal.  To me at least.  So from my hurt I am really learning to think about what I say and how I say it.  Words hurt.  None of us are rubber.  In fact, sometimes those words leave a bruise bigger than we get from being slapped or hit.  I am sarcastic as all get out and sometimes my "humor" can be misconstrued.  I am working on that though because I never want to hurt people with my words, the way others words have hurt me.  My mom always said, "Once something comes out of your mouth you can never take it back, so choose your words wisely."  It's time for all of us to heed a little of momma's advice.

 

 

***5***

Noah has been home 5

 

weeks now! I can't believe it!  Tom and I are adjusting to parenthood as well as any parents of newborns adjust to parenthood.  There are ups and downs for sure.  I don't think anyone can prepare you for the sleep deprivation you will experience as a parent of a newborn.  We have learned what Noah's different cries mean (for the most part), we are experts now at diaper changes and bath time, and we have learned how to do a lot of things one handed. ;) I have to say though, with confidence, that as rewarding as being a parent is, it is by far the HARDEST undertaking we have ever encountered.  Parenting tests your physical, mental, and emotional strength all at the same time. I really thought with all my experience with babysitting and teaching I was more than prepared for motherhood, but nothing can prepare you.  I don't write this to whine, I write this as an admission.  Like I said, it's all worth it.  When that little crying bundle lays his head on my chest after I pick him up or flashes me a smile (Ok, it might be gas, but I will call it a smile...), or when I watch that sweet thing nap in his swing....I feel like the luckiest lady in the world.  But the multi tasking, late night feedings, and crying spells test me to the fullest if I am being honest.  But the good outweighs the bad and I wouldn't trade any of it for the world....ok...maybe the 4 am feeding.,...:)

 

 

 

 

***6***

 

On the humorous side of motherhood...lessons my son has taught me in 5 short weeks...



 

 

*It doesn't matter how many pacifiers we have...when we need one there isn't one to be found in the nearest arm reach except for the one laying in the middle of the floor dirty with cat hair.

 

*Poop is a big deal.  Especially when our little guy doesn't go for a few diapers.  Poop is brought up in our house at least 3 times daily between Tom and I.

 

*That thing about little boys liking to pee the second their diaper comes off.  100% true.  Pooping is also optional.  The bath tub is also a popular peeing spot.

 

*It doesn't matter if I am holding a burp cloth or not, I will be puked on at least once a day.  Spoiled milk is my new perfume.

 

*The odds of my sleeping child waking increase greatly the second I decide to do the dishes, write a blog, or finally decide to take a shower.

*To all of you moms daily sporting yoga pants, or hell even pajamas...I am sorry I judged you.  I get it now.

 

* Socks on newborns is the biggest joke out there.

 

*Little babies can still make really BIG sounds (and vibrations for that matter)

 

*Second biggest joke...hot coffee.  Not going to happen.

 

*You will make up the stupidest song ever just to attempt to calm your crying baby.  Secondly, half of the kids song you sang as a kid, you forget the words to as an adult.  Improvise, improvise, improvise.  (Though if you looked at Tom's google history, most searches would be lyrics to said songs.)

 

***7***

 

Tonight is New Year's Eve!  Our little family will be celebrating from the comfort of our home.  In fact, I hope to be sleeping as the ball drops because at 3 am someone will be hungry and mama needs her sleep.  So from our house to yours....Happy New Year!! May God's blessings be on you and those you love this year!

 

 



  

Reflections of a Year

Early this morning I was awake with our newborn son, as most mother's of newborns are. I had just finished pumping milk, and as I wrote the time and date, 12/21 at 4:30am, I recalled that exactly a year ago Tom and I received a call from Oakwood Hospital telling us our first child would not survive much longer and that we should get to the NICU as soon as possible.  I thought of our son, Jackson, as I often do and then went over to look at his brother asleep on his Boppy.  I allowed myself to sit and ponder the events that unfolded over the past year.  We have gone from the lowest of the lows, to the highest of the highs and have felt every emotion in between in the meantime.  We have been scared, mad, sad, hopeful, happy, lost, and confused.  This year, however, has changed and defined me in ways I couldn't have imagined. 

I read a quote recently by a man named, Haruki Murakami, it went like this,

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”    

I began to think about how this "storm" has changed me.  What has this past year taught me? How have I evolved as a person?  I have to be honest and say, sadly, this past year has removed my "rose colored glasses" for good.  Bad things happen.  Babies die.  Not all pregnancies end well.  It's sad really.  When someone tells me they are expecting, I am as scared for them as I am happy.  My experiences have tainted me in some ways.  And although the birth of our son Noah has restored a bit of my faith in modern medicine, the memory of Jackson tells me that we were blessed that Noah has survived. 

This past year I have been shown compassion and love that I didn't know existed in the world.  Social media has allowed me to share my grief and journey with many people and those who have reached out to me have restored my hope in humanity.  The love my family has been shown by others and encouraged me to love greater and be that friend to others.  The excitement people have when they finally meet Noah after following his story online touches me more than them.  The number of people praying for and rooting for us is remarkable. 

This past year I've also learned that some people can't be there for me.  Either by choice or by inability, some people I thought or wished would be there for me weren't.  And I have to be honest by saying that in some ways that is what hurt the most this past year.  But as I have grown this past year, I've also grown to accept that that is how it is.  Friendships change and evolve.  Some people have left my life this past year, and some have entered it.  I have to trust that the right people were in my life when I needed them most.  Those who weren't, just weren't.  Maybe it's uncomfortable? Maybe they felt I was too dramatic? Or maybe it was just time for them to make their exit.  Whatever it was, I have come to accept it.  People are who they are and you can't make them be something they aren't. 

This past year my faith in God has been tested.  In so many ways, I am justified in my anger at God.  He took my son after just 4 days.  But the opposite has happened.  My faith in God has been strengthened remarkably.  If anything I have become keenly aware that there is a greater being out there and that we have no control over certain things.  I have also felt God's love at times I didn't feel capable of loving again.  I have walked into church and broke down at just feeling the presence of God. 

This past year has taught me about what is important in life.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  I have developed a severe intolerance for any drama.  I really have zero time for it.  The silliness of junior high behavior and people who "get off" on it has left my radar.  I don't let it excite me or engage me.  I have learned to be upfront and honest with others and let the gossip go and backstabbing stop.  I've learned that there are things that really matter in this world.  Those are the things I choose to focus on and give my energy towards.  And the people in my life who exude drama really don't have a place in my circle anymore.  It's not worth it.  It's exhausting and I have so many other things to focus on. 

Finally, this past year has taught me that the man I married has far exceeded my expectations when it comes to being a husband.  If you know Tom personally, you know that he is the quiet reserved one and I am...well, not.  But the quiet strength I have seen in my husband this past year has touched me to my inner core.  There were times I was literally spinning out of control or crumbling to pieces and he remained calm and composed.  He has held me, picked me up, encouraged me, and loved me in ways I didn't realize he was capable of doing.  Truly I can tell you that he is the one that has held us together.  He is the reason I have survived all that this year has dished out.  He has been my rock.  His strength is shocking to me.  I am so blessed to call him my beloved and father to my boys.  I have learned to not take him for granted or underestimate what he is capable of.  I have learned just how truly blessed I am.

Tomorrow, December 22 (Noah's original due date), Noah will be baptized into the Catholic Church.  He will become a Christian and a saint in training.  Last year on December 22, we were at the same church celebrating a funeral mass for our son Jackson.  We have truly come full circle in a year.  This year has made it's impact.  We are forever changed...for the better.  We look forward to the next year when we can watch our son grow and evolve to the young boy God has called him to be knowing that our little St. Jackson watches over him from above.  We are better parents and people because of this year.  I want to end this with a quote from the Bible that reflects how Tom and I feel about both of our sons. 

Paraphrased from 1 Samuel:

 

"I asked the Lord to give me this boy and He granted my request.  Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life."

7 Quick Takes: Almost 2 Weeks Later....

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving our wildest dreams finally came true and we brought our sweet boy home from the hospital after 65 days in the NICU.  Our world has gone a little topsy turvy (in the best possible way) since then, but we are enjoying every minute of it....(Well, the 3am-5am time slot not so much if I am being honest.)  So after a bit of a hectic morning, my little buddy is asleep on his boppy next to me and I thought I would take a moment to blog.

***1***

In college I decided to stay home after visiting a college for a weekend and realizing that dorm life wasn't for me.  You see I have always been a person who needs sleep.  Early to bed and early to rise is my mantra and dorm life doesn't really support that. When I had to finish a last minute project or paper, after midnight I was toast.  So I would go to bed and wake up at 6 to finish.  That was so much  better than staying up all night for me.  So when I became a mom I was really worried about the lack of sleep thing.  I am a real jerk when I don't get enough sleep.  Well almost 2 weeks later, I am undoubtedly tired, and the middle of the night shifts are definitely a struggle, but I am surviving! In fact, I am doing better than I thought.  We still have to wake Noah every 3 hours for feedings so he continues to gain weight, and I dream of the day he sleeps through the night, but for now, we are doing it! Phew....

***2***

I am happy to report in the 2 weeks that Noah has been home, I have lost 4.4lbs!!  I am pretty proud of myself especially since I am a stress eater to the core.  Maybe that 5lb weight I am lifting all the time is helping me burn calories? ;)  I keep thinking about the next 3 weeks and what my weight loss goal is going to be for over the holidays.  I am very committed to losing weight and don't want to be a statistic when it comes to weight gain during the holidays.  I think my goal is going to be just not to gain anything.  That way I can still indulge and enjoy the holidays, but keep it within reason!  Praying those Christmas cookies don't kill me!

***3***

I love this time of year! Yes, we have a newborn at home, but it was important to me that we had our decorations up and we could be able to join in the celebration!  There are 3 things I love about this time of year. ONE: Christmas cards!  I know it's quickly becoming a lost art, but I love going to the mailbox each year and seeing the different cards from those I love.  I really love seeing photos of my friends kids and hand written notes from those I haven't heard from in awhile.  I love Christmas cards and am picking up ours tonight! Can't wait to send them out! TWO: Christmas Cookies! :) I am not the biggest sweet eater, but I love cookies! I especially love them at Christmas time.  My friend, Adrienne, always makes her shortbread this time of year and I cannot wait for it's arrival.  The problem with Christmas cookies is just that...I like them too much.  I can pop them in my mouth like they are nothing.  Hmmm, this year's challenge for sure.  THREE: I am one of those weird people who actually love to wrap gifts! I love embellishing them with fun ribbons and bows.  Each year I pick matching wrapping paper.  This year I am wrapping in butcher paper and stamping names in place of tags.  I love seeing all the presents under the tree. 

***4***

Noah is getting baptized on 12/22! We are so excited about this! The craziest thing is that is actually his due date.  It's crazy to think that he's still not even supposed to be here and yet here he sits with me.  This is his coming out party, since other than doctor's appointments Noah doesn't leave the house much.  We cannot wait to celebrate with our church family and our friends and family.  We also cannot wait to give our son to the Lord in Baptism.  We are having everyone back to our home afterwards. What a great celebration after the last year!  Another little saint in training will soon be in our home!

***5***

I have an admission to make.  I have a sick obsession to Target!  Cartwheel, coupons, and my RedCard which gives me 5% off each time and well, I am an addict.  It's become almost a game for me.  I cannot stand to buy almost anything now unless I get some sort of deal.  The great thing is you can combine all of the above to make major savings!  It makes buying things like paper plates and baggies almost fun to buy! Yes, it may lead to buying things I don't necessarily NEED sometimes, but I figure with all the money I am saving on those daily products that it's surely a wash at the end of the day, right?  Anyways, I think Target has hit it on the bulls eye in our home!

***6***

My mom and dad will be here in under 2 weeks!  I cannot wait for my dad to meet Noah finally and for the memories we will all have as a family.  Noah cannot wait for snuggles with Nana.  It's going to be a very special Christmas for us for sure!  Noah is surely a blessed little boy surrounded by a loving family.

***7***

They say a picture is worth a thousand words...so here goes nothing....