7 Quick Takes: Why Staying at Home is the Best Choice for ME

I am straying a bit on my 7 Quick Takes today to write something that has been on my heart for awhile.   I wanted to start writing this by saying that the title of this blog is why staying home is the best choice for ME, NOT for EVERYONE.  This is truly a reflection of why being a stay at home wife currently, and a stay at home mother in the near future makes sense for me.  I am not dogging anyone who chooses to go back to work or saying that this is the lifestyle for everyone, I am merely reflecting on why in the last year I have decided that the decision we made as a couple has really worked for us as a family.

***1***

IT WORKS FOR US!!!

I guess the first reason is maybe the most obvious.  It works for my husband and I.  We are so blessed that my husband has a great job that adequately provides for our family. My husband's job as a software developer also requires a great deal of concentration and focus each day while he is at work. This means there isn't always a lot of time to focus on other aspects of life.  This is where I come in.  Being at home allows me to focus on the bills, the cleaning (although at times subpar), and the day to day needs that arise in our family.  I take care of the shopping, the appointments, and anything else that pops up in the day.  Most days, my husband is able to come home to a home cooked meal on the table, which I take pride in and he enjoys not eating frozen meals.  Our lives run smoothly most days and allows us time in the evenings together.  It works, we like it!

***2***

FOCUS VS. FINANCES

Some women are able to hold down a full time job, keep a clean house, and juggle a busy family schedule with finesse and pizzazz.  My sister-in-law is one of these people.  She does it all! She is organized and has it all together.  I admire people like that, but I have to be honest in saying though that I am NOT one of these women.  I don't multitask very well.  It's hard for me to be good at everything.  Teaching full time is a lot of work and I never wanted to be a teacher who didn't give my students my all.  When I began to notice that slacking a bit because I was trying to focus on my relationship with Tom, planning a wedding, and all the life changes that ensued we knew something had to give.  We knew we wanted to start a family soon after we were married so we decided it was the best time for me to leave my job as a teacher.  Yes, we took a cut financially of course (though not that bad with a teacher salary) but we felt we were willing to make sacrifices of nice vacations and fancy things in order to make this arrangement.  To be honest, there is very little that we want for and the benefits certainly out weight any of it.

***3***

PREGNANCY WOES

Although this is not a reason I decided to stay at home, it certainly has become a benefit.  With the 2 pregnancies I have had, both being high risk, I am glad that I am home and don't have a job to focus on.  These past 10 months have been a strain physically, mentally, and emotionally.  I am glad I can recover and focus on my health and the health of my children at home.  It turned out to be a blessing in disguise.  Who knew that pregnancy isn't all fun??

***4-7***

MY KIDS

I know in these days, staying at home is kind of archaic and seen as a nothing type job.  I can't believe how much slack I received when I made the decision to leave my job as a teacher to stay home.  Friends, family, strangers...but the biggest reason I want to stay home is my kids.  I waited so long to be a mom that that's exactly what I want to do and selfishly I don't want anyone else to do it!  If someone is going to screw my kids up, it better be me! ;)  Here are some reasons why:

I want to be there for as many of my kids firsts as I can be! When they walk, talk, cry, laugh...I want to be there! I don't want to miss any of it.  I can't wait to watch them explore new things, learn new concepts, and sing along to some of their favorite songs.

When my kids are sick I want to be able to stay at home with them.  I remember when I was sick as a child my mom was the best nurse.  She was always there, always knew what to do to make it better, and made me feel loved.  I want to do the same.  When they need a band aid, a bucket to puke in, or some Tylenol I want to be there for them.  I don't want to have to make the decision between taking a day off work and staying home with my baby. 

I want to be as involved at my children's schools as I can be.  (This does not mean I want to be a helicopter parent.)  Being a teacher for 11 years, I know the benefit of those stay at home moms.  They saved me on many field trips, fundraisers, and frantic class parties.  I loved those room moms, in fact many of them became personal friends in the process.  My mom was also one of those moms.  I loved seeing her at school and involved in my day.  My dad was good too! He never missed any event that was after school.  I want that for my kids.  I want to be there and available any way I can be.

Now, this is just me.  I know there are a lot of things about being a SAHM that are not glorious or lovely.  Sometimes I get lonely, sometimes I desire adult interaction, and I am sure those sick kids and school field trips eventually get old, but for now this is the life I desire to live.  It's shocking to a lot of people that I would leave a job after 11 years to just be a wife and mother, but I know in order for me to be the best wife and mother possible, I need to be able to work from my home front.  Who knows what the future will hold?  I may one day desire to be back in the classroom, or take another path in life, but for now...it's all good in my hood.

I

7 Quick Takes: Take 13 (Very appropriate for this week)

 

IF I was superstitious I would say that the fact that this is my 13th Quick Take to date would be very appropriate considering the week I've had.  What started out on Monday as a bad morning sickness day turned into the stomach virus from hell, turned into a trip to the ER, turned into a reaction to an antibiotic they gave me for a UTI I had absolutely no symptoms from.  It's been a bad week.  I haven't left the couch much and to be honest I am sick of being sick!  I am praying once the meds that are making everything worse leave my system my Memorial Day Weekend will be looking up. I could probably whine about 7 things in my life right now, but instead I am going to try and come up with 7 positively uplifting things to blog about.  (Try being the operative word...)

TAKE ONE:

One good thing that did start this week off right was my snow bird parents arrived in Michigan on Monday and they will be here for the summer.  It feels good having the whole family back in one state for the next few months. They are hoping to spend a lot more time in town this summer too, so that will be nice to have some company and a friend to shop with for all things baby.  If I can muster up some strength and settle my stomach down we hope to go visit them this weekend for a little bit.  I can't wait to see them and to get out of the house for a little bit.

TAKE TWO:

One thing that has kept Tom and I entertained this week is that our cat, who is an indoor cat, loves to go outdoors.  She is only allowed to go out with a chaperone.  Much to her dislike she doesn't get to go out as much as she'd like so she's taken to trying to figure out how to open the front door.  She knows if she pushes that little lever like we do that it opens, yet she just can't figure out how to get to it.  She  has done quite a few acrobatic moves to try and accomplish this task.  We enjoy watching her and are certain that one day she may just figure it out, which is why the door is always locked.  We think our cat is definitely a genius.  ;)

TAKE THREE:

Getting dehydrated is dangerous for anyone, it is however even more dangerous for anyone who is pregnant, thus our visit to Oakwood Hospital Tuesday night.  One positive side to dehydration is that you can justify eating Popsicles and drinking Gatorade any time day or night.  I have always loved Popsicles so this is a great excuse to indulge on some of my favorite summertime treats throughout the day.   My Gatorade flavor of choice: Lemonade.  It's all about keeping mama and baby safe!


TAKE FOUR:

This past weekend before all above drama ensued, my hubby began working in our yard to combat the weeded flower beds.  We have a large yard and therefore have been slowly mulching and cleaning out all of our flower beds.  What a difference it has made! It is just what out front yard needed.  It's been a slow process because he has been working a lot and I am basically no help, but it's shaping up.  I am so thankful for his hard work.  He's been a trooper this week as well.  It's not very easy being married to me on a normal day, but throw in a pregnancy with an illness and you've got just one cranky mama!  I try to not be a pain, but I know he is earning his way towards sainthood this week...BIG TIME!

TAKE FIVE:

Due to all my recent restrictions I have a lot of down time....a lot, a lot.  And I gotta be honest, some days it kills me!  I like to be on the run and moving.  I don't like to watch hours of TV, which has become the norm recently.  So I need a hobby.  I need something to do.  SO I am throwing it out to all of you.  Any ideas?  It needs to be something that isn't too tedious and requires too much patient because I will just get frustrated and quit.  Preferably I would like to not spend millions of dollars for said hobby, but wouldn't mind some investment.  Anyways, what do you have for me??

TAKE SIX:

Second request....I need some good summer reading.  I've read a lot of christian fiction and really enjoy it, but I also like many mainstream authors as well.  I typically don't read anything full of sex, drugs, and rock n roll.  (Well a little rock n roll is OK...)  I like romantic stories, but prefer something with a different or unique story line...help a girl out!

TAKE SEVEN:

This is the most I've done in 5 days.  I think I will go take a nap!! 

7 Quick Takes: Take 12

***1***

Let's start off with the thing closest to my mind (and stomach) right now....nausea.  This week started off with a bang!  I have been combating nausea since the very beginning of this pregnancy, but this week as my hormones increased so did the nausea.  I have only vomited once, but in some ways I wish I would and just get it over with!  So both Monday and Tuesday I was basically non functional until 12.  Even though I am a stay at home wife...this is unacceptable.  Wednesday I went to my OB for my biweekly visits and she saved my life! She prescribed me Zofran to help with the nausea.  It's the best thing that ever happened to me!  Each morning I wake up sick.  I pop one of those beautiful dissolving pills (that taste disgusting...who was thinking here??) and my hubby gets me a glass of milk and a few graham crackers.  I usually fall back asleep for a bit and about an hour later I can function!  It's fabulous!

***2***

Speaking of unacceptable things...this weekend I made a BIG decision in my life.  It was time to delete Candy Crush from my phone.  I know! Shock!  I had made it to level 147 and was obsessed with playing it day and night! Ridiculous! There are so many other productive things I could be doing, but was wasting way too much time on stupid Candy Crush!  I can still play it if I go on Facebook, but since I hardly ever go on my computer it will dramatically decrease.  This is why I have always hated video games.  I always vowed that I will never buy a gaming system for my children (we'll see, right?) They suck you in! Anyways...lesson learned.

***3***

This past Friday we had an unexpected visit from Tom's dad from Tennessee.  He needed to make a quick trip to Michigan to pick up some farm equipment he was storing up here.  Although I won't go into details, Tom hadn't spoken to his father for 25+ years up until this past November.  Luckily, the Lord has brought healing and a reunion between father and son and it's been such a blessing to us both.  I was having some friends over that evening so was busy preparing food and the house for visitors, which gave Tom and his dad lots of quality time together. (They got kicked out of the house for the party!) The next day, Tom's dad left early without a good bye, so we called and asked why?  He said he was afraid to cry in front of us.  He is so touched to have his son back in his life.  I love watching my husband reconnect with his father and I know they are both better off because of it. 

***4***

There is an excitement in the air for me these days.  No, not just because I am pregnant, not because of the beautiful weather, but what really has me super excited is this....are you ready?  It's GARAGE SALE SEASON!!!!  I love garage sales.  Ever since I was a little girl my mom would take us to garage sales, and I would have my little change purse and surely I would find some little treasure.  Well, watching all those signs go up around the neighborhood has got me so excited!  I can't wait til my garage sale buddy, Katie, is out of school for the summer so we can start our weekly treks through the hood scouting out those fluorescent signs and flagged houses!  Looking for cheap baby finds this summer.  Can't wait! My change purse is ready to go!

***5***

Every pregnant woman has foods she detests and adores during pregnancy.  So far...here are mine.  DETEST: Any cut of red meat (besides ground beef)  I avoid almost all raw meat, and grocery shopping I must avoid the meat section completely.  Instant gag reflex.  I also cannot think about bananas.  Unfortunately, yogurt also has been cut from the list.  Finally, saltines makes me more nauseous than they help.  (not to mention give me dry mouth)  ADORE: Watermelon is top on the list,  grapes are a very close second, followed by chicken lemon rice soup.  Kroger's honey graham sticks and milk have also saved my life.  Cheese and crackers, grilled cheese, and string cheese are a staple in my first trimester diet.  Since yesterday I have been craving Popsicles, so I am sure those will soon be added to my list of must haves too!

***6***

Today I am excited to meet my grandpa and his wife for lunch.  My grandpa doesn't live too far from me, isn't getting any younger, and yet I don't see him nearly as often as I should.  He is my last surviving grandparent and I want to be sure to spend some more quality time with him.  So I called him up and we are meeting for lunch!  I am really looking forward to it! ( I hope they have chicken lemon rice soup)  :)

***7***

We are continuing to work on our outdoors.  We have gotten rid of lots of weeds, planted a few flowers, and cleaned up the yard.  This weekend I think we are going to start putting mulch down in an effort to control the weeds and make our yard look pretty.  My hubby has to do all the physical labor unfortunately due to my restrictions, but luckily being bossy has never been difficult for me.  ;)  I can't wait for our yard to be spruced up and looking like we actually care. 

 

Well my friends it's time to sign off for another day and get ready for lunch with my grandpa!  I pray you all enjoy this beautiful weekend to come!  Pentecost is Sunday!  I pray the Holy Spirit makes a difference in your life today and for the days to come!  TGIF! :)

The High Risk Rollercoaster

On Sunday, Tom and I decided to announce to the world that we are expecting our 2nd child, our rainbow baby, after losing our first child in a second term lost due to what doctor's are calling an "incompetent cervix."  It's taking some swallowing, grief, and heartache to get over that phrase.  In my eyes it basically means, despite having no control over the situation, my body failed my baby.  So getting pregnant a second time, a little under 4 months after losing our son Jackson, wasn't something we did without a lot of conversation, research, and prayer.  Despite what some may think, we aren't just crazy NFP using Catholics who threw caution to the wind and didn't think about the implications of a 2nd pregnancy. So on April 13, 2 days before Jackson's due date, when Tom and I found out we were going to parents again, we were of course overjoyed and a little scared as to what the journey ahead for us would be. 

I had spoken to my OB-GYN shortly after losing Jackson and learned that my chances for a 2nd successful pregnancy were pretty good.  In fact, 85-90% of women who suffer a loss from an incompetent cervix are able to deliver healthy babies with an emergent cerclage.  We knew that any pregnancy we have from here on out would be considered high risk and that at the end of the first trimester (just 4 more weeks!) we could have a cerclage put in to tie up my cervix.  We are anxious for June 13th to arrive so that my high risk doctor can do just that and we won't have to worry that my malfunctioning cervix won't sustain this pregnancy too. 

The peace this brings my husband and I is great, and we are so excited to welcome another child into our family, but I would be lying to you if I didn't tell you that there are days that we are really, really scared.  One of the best things and worse things about losing a child is that you find out there are a lot of other women in the world that have lost a child...a lot.  These women have gotten me through some of my worst times.  But a lot of these women have had more than one loss.  Now, luckily for us, Jackson was very healthy and the only thing wrong with our pregnancy was my cervix, but many women have blood clotting disorders and genetic issues that make subsequent pregnancies more difficult.  So hearing other stories, I always wonder, will I too have a second loss?  Is it possible that this nightmare could happen to me again?

I was speaking about this fear to my priest friend and he wisely reminded me that this child I am carrying really belongs to God.  Our job as parents is to get him or her (though with this nausea I am feeling I suspect a little girl...) back to heaven.  Many parents give their child to the Lord after they are born, but he suggested that perhaps Tom and I should offer our child back to the Lord right now. He wasn't suggesting that we ask the Lord to take our baby, but rather give him or her to God right now and put all of this back in God's hands.  My fear and worrying isn't going to make things better, in fact, it will only make things worse.  So that night Tom and I consecrated our child to the Lord.  We decided to stop trying to control the situation and give it all back to Him.  He really does a better job than us anyways. 

Consecrating this child to the Lord did bring us some peace, but there are days I still really worry.  I try to remember that I can't control it anyways and I am doing the best I can do to give this baby every chance of survival and that's all I can do.  I try and talk to our child and bond despite fearing I will get too close, but how can a mother not love their child?  We thought about keeping our pregnancy a secret for a long time, but being the fact that I am the worst secret keeper there is, and that I wanted to share this joy with others, we decided Mother's Day would be a good day to announce our pregnancy.  Even that was scary...all week I have had to fight the worries and fear that now that I have told everyone something is going to happen to this baby.  The positive and supportive response reminds me that we made the right decision.  If something happens, these are the people who will pray for me, love on us, and help us through.  In fact, by telling so many people we have upped our prayers for our baby substantially.  It really does take a village!

Then today I thought of the song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Judy Garland (one of my top favorite songs) and I remembered the lyrics.  This song is about hope for a new day.  Instead of fearing another loss, I had to remember that God had given us hope again...hope of another baby to hold and love.  I need to embrace the fact that He has made me a mother not once, but twice.  I owe it to this baby to be happy, excited, and dreaming of his or her future.  He or she deserves my peace and my love. 

 

So once again, it's time I swallow my fear, accept the challenge, and enjoy the thrilling and fulfilling ride that awaits me...hands in the air with a smile on my face!

7 Friday Quick Takes: Take 11

 

 



Happy Friday!! And what a glorious Friday in Michigan it is!!  Well, we didn't think it was going to happen, but spring has finally sprung!!  Yay! The last few days have been beautiful and I have enjoyed some time outside soaking up some vitamin D and fresh air!  Today I find myself in a wonderful mood and hope to spread a little joy to each of you.

Let's go!

***1***

As most of you know during Lent Catholics give up meat.  Many of you know that in the old days, Catholics gave up meat EVERY Friday.  Well, Tom and I decided that we liked making that weekly sacrifice and therefore have given up meat on Fridays forever.  It's a nice little (it really isn't super difficult) challenge for us and we are thankful to be able to make a little sacrifice for the Lord each week as a family.  It's also fun to come up with creative meatless meals to make each week since I am allergic to fish.  So far, so good.....

***2***

Recently, on my beloved Netflix, I began watching the show "Brothers and Sisters."  I LOVE it!!  I guess I heard people talking about it while it was actually airing, but never tuned in.  Well say no more...I have decided to embrace it!  It seems that is the way for me.  I am always a little behind the in crowd.  Songs people have loved forever, I suddenly discover.  TV shows everyone watches, I don't start until they have been off the air for 2 years.  Oh well, I guess the moral of this story is better late than never.

***3***

When I was a kid my mom often did her cleaning and picking up in her pj's.  I have since picked up this same habit.  When I am putzing around the house or cleaning up I often just stay in my pj's.  I should probably shower and get ready after I scoot my hubby out the door, but I don't.  And that's ok, except, I am routinely embarrassed when I am caught in my pj's at unacceptable times (if there is such a thing.)  My mail lady must think I am the laziest woman around.  My neighbors have come to the door and busted me on more than one occasion.  It's pretty embarrassing to me...and yet do I change?  Not usually.  Oh well, I guess I give them something to talk about....


***4***

I am a lot of things....but one thing I am not is a gardener.  My thumb isn't the slightest shade of green and therefore my yard suffers because of it.  The people who lived in our home before my husband bought it owned a landscaping company.  Therefore there are all sorts of plants in our oversized yard.  They are beautiful, don't get me wrong, but the upkeep of our yard takes a lot of time and energy that I have, but don't care to use on gardening.  So, this weekend we are downsizing a bit.  I am trying to get our yard to a point where it looks nice and maintained and yet is doable for us.   Currently our biggest fight is the weeds! And let me tell you...they are winning!  We bought some products to help us combat those nasty buggers, but for now they are laughing in my face.

***5***

On a positive note with the yard, I have enjoyed watching our cherry blossom tree bloom and was surprised to find both tulips and daffodils pop up!  I do love this time a year when finally all the doom and gloom brown and gray landscapes turn into wonderful colors of the rainbow.  It really makes me smile and puts me in a much better place mentally.  I love finally turning the heat off and opening my windows to let out the winter air and let in that fresh spring breeze.  Winter is always hard, but it sure makes me appreciate spring that much more!

***6***

I want to give a little shout out to my Winterhaven, FL family.  Every time I go and visit my parents, I am always touched by the love of their Florida "family."  So many of them have celebrated with us as we got married, prayed for us over the last few months, and even cried with us when we lost our son.  My mom keeps them in the loop and they are always eager to hear what is going on in her children's lives.  It's nice to have people so far away who care about you and only want the best for you.

***7***

I hate ending on a negative note, but I have a small rant this week.  I am going to try and put a positive spin on this rant, but it's a rant nonetheless.  I appreciate people who are real and honest about who they are, what they stand for, and how they treat others regardless of who they are with or what they think a person wants to hear.  At 34, I hate when junior high drama seeps back into my life and I feel betrayed by people who are nice to my face and zing me in my back.  Be real people! This week I really was reminded about the importance of that.  It was a great reminder for me as well to watch my tongue and to speak kindly of others and not judge their actions.  The choices I make in my life are just that, and the choices others make are their choices.  No one makes a choice that they feel is bad (despite our opinions) and I suppose if it's not hurting me or others than perhaps it's just best to be quiet.  Now, I should disclaim, that I do believe there is a wrong and right, good and evil in this world and we should stand up for those things, but this is more about the little day to day things. 

Well folks, it is now 2:00 in the afternoon and you shouldn't be surprised to know that I am still in my pj's.  I guess it's time to clean up my act and face the day!  Tonight we are dining with some of our favorite pals!  I can't wait to catch up, laugh, and enjoy this beautiful day!!  Hugs to you all!