I've gotta be honest and tell you that I've been promising to write what I titled "Words are Cheap:2 Things Christians are Doing Wrong." But every time I thought about writing it with my opinions I was quickly corrected by the Holy Spirit. Writing on cheap words and condemning Christians in my blog felt very hypocritical. I guess I may have a blog down the road about accepting criticism and humility in our lives. LOL. So here is my version of "Words are Cheap-rethought."
"Actions speak louder than words..."
"Put your money where your mouth is."
"A little less talk, and a lot more action."
This topic is not an original thought by any means. People have been drilling this home for years. But my 7 posts this week are focusing on lessons I've learned and so instead of pointing fingers at all of you, I'm gonna tell you what I've learned about my mouth and just how often I need to shut it.
GOSSIP
If you are a woman than I can almost guarantee gossip is something you've struggled with. I don't think there is anything a woman loves more than a good old fashion gossip session. I'll be honest, any strides I've made in this department can be undone with one week moment or one good suggestion of juicy gossip. But there is nothing more cheap than gossip. I loved this quote I read by Frank A. Clark, "Gossip needn't be false to be evil-there's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around." Why do we revel in other's failings? Why do we love to talk about the dirt in someone else's life? I think it makes us feel good about the inevitable dirt we all have in our lives. Cause we all have it. I have known a few people in my life that I have gossiped with more than anyone who literally got off on gossiping about others. It was what made them who they were. Gossip literally empowered them. But looking back, those who gossip the most I find are the most insecure in their own lives. In fact, when I think about the women in my life who do readily engage in gossip they are some of the most secure in who they are and what they stand for. And the truth is, something we all must remember, a person who gossips with you, is going to gossip about you after you leave. I have talked about others badly and then encountered that person later and been so nice their face. All the while the pangs of guilt were so deep because I knew I just slaughtered that person behind their back. It's a horrible feeling. I have been caught up in gossip only to learn that it wasn't true and here I had just ruined this person's reputation in a New York second. Gossip kills. It kills friendships and it kills trust. I've come a long way in this area, but you know what? I've got such a long way to go. St. Paul reminds us in scripture when he says, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think[talk] about such things." Wouldn't our time be so much better spent talking about the good in others and not relishing on their struggles? Don't we want others to talk about the good in us and not our struggles?
EVANGELIZATION
St. Francis is quoted with saying "Preach always, and if necessary use words." Now there is debate if he actually said this and truthfully I don't care if he said it or someone else said it, because there is so much truth to it. I have 2 examples of this that are very close to my heart...the first is my own conversion to Catholicism and the second is my mom's. When I started teaching at a Catholic school I had zero desire to be Catholic. I knew every debate against the Catholic church and although I wasn't living a very Christian life at the time, I still would argue against the church. Well, without getting into my whole conversion story I want to focus on a question I was often asked after my conversion. "Was there a lot of pressure to become Catholic?" and my answer was always, "No." Do you know not one person at the school I taught tried to persuade me to become Catholic? Do you know what did persuade me to become Catholic? Watching a few people live out their faith. Watching the beauty in which they did. Admiring the people they were. Truly, their actions spoke louder than their words ever would. Once I was curious as to what these people had I started asking questions and learning about the faith. THEN, and only THEN did they talk. And they talked with love and conviction. They were credible because I had seen them live out their faith long before they told me about it. Had they tried to convert me with their words first, I am certain I never would've entered the church. A few years later, I was driving with my mom one summer day after I had met my now husband and my mom told me she had decided to become Catholic. I literally almost drove off the road in shock? Why was I so shocked? Because I never ONCE tried to convince my mom to become Catholic. She went on to tell me that watching my brother and his wife raise their children in the church, then watching me live out my faith and especially how Tom and I lived out our faith in our dating and engagement made her want to be apart of it all. We had no idea that as we went about our day to day lives trying our best to allow Christ to be the center of our lives we were evangelizing my mom. Our actions were speaking louder than our words. Our lives showed our convictions and there was something appealing to my mom there. Do you want to lead someone to Christ? Then show them Christ. Show them love. Show them the blessings played out in your life. Show them your faith. And if necessary....use your words...when they are ready to listen.
SARCASM
I come from a family where sarcasm is our vernacular. We all speak it well and with pizzazz and spunk. I was trained at an early age how to have a come back ready at all times and with a little zing and punch included. Do you know why we as a people like sarcasm? Because I think we feel like we can always follow with the phrase, "I was just joking." But I can't tell you how many times I have hurt someone with my sarcasm or teasing. And on the same note I have been hurt too. In the teaching circle you are taught that sarcasm has no place in the classroom. I think that's debatable and I still think sarcasm can be used as a valuable communication tool, but where it is wrong is when it is used to hurt. When sarcasm and teasing go too far is a very thin line. We have to be careful to choose what we say and how we say it with care. To think about the person we are speaking to and to watch their expressions with our delivery. Choose your words wisely my friends.
These are the three main areas I have really learned about shutting my mouth. How about you? Maybe it's bragging, lying, slandering, or exaggerating? Where do you need to learn to let your actions speak over your words? This is something I really, really need to work on. Please know that I have come along way, but like I said...I have so far to go.
NOT ALL WORDS ARE BAD
On a final note, I want to just say that we shouldn't all go around being mute. Do you know what words are good for? Apologies, forgiveness, compliments, loving criticism, sharing your story and your self....as the Bible tells us the tongue is really a two edged sword. It can be used for tearing down and building up. My hope is that one day my words will be used more for building and less for tearing. There are times too when we are called to speak truth. Sometimes it's necessary to correct, explain, proclaim, and even shout! But it take panache and charisma to know when those times are and when it's better to remain quiet.
Happy Friday my friends! Enjoy your weekend with those you love the most! We are celebrating the marriage of 2 good friends this weekend! How exciting! See you all tomorrow! :)
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