7 Quick Takes: The NYE edition

Ok, so it's Tuesday and Quick Takes are for Fridays, but Noah is sleeping, I have no motivation to get off the couch today, and I have been wanting to blog for weeks now....so we are going to go with it! Can you believe 2013 is coming to an end in just a few short hours? Wow! What a year it's been! I have written more than enough about the year we have had, and so I won't go there in this post, but let's just say we are looking forward to a calmer, less hospital visits, 2014! Please know of our prayers for you and your family as we approach the New Year!

***1***

Yesterday morning we said good bye to my parents after a 2.5 week visit from them.  I have to admit having house guests for that long, even if you love them dearly, is a challenge for both the hosts and the guests, but we did pretty well! My parents were such a blessing to Tom and I.  My mom took a few 1am feedings allowing Tom and I to catch up on some sleep.  We enjoyed watching Noah bond with his grandparents and make his first Christmas memories! Papa even donned a Santa Claus outfit so that Noah could have his first picture with Santa.  It was a special Christmas indeed. 

I have to say though, I cried like a baby when my parents left this time.  My mom is usually the crier in our family, but this time we both cried.  It's hard having snowbirds for parents.  It's harder now that we have Noah and we miss having Nana and Papa around.  I think you realize just how badly you need your parents when you become a parent yourself. 

 

 

 

***2***

 

Well, I guess I should publicly declare what my New Year's Resolutions are for 2014.  I know most will fail or give up, but I think it's important to have a goal or strive always to be better.  So here's what I am working on.  Getting back to Weight Watchers! I am thankful my good friend is taking the plunge with me so that we can support each other. Tom and I are also looking for a gym to join where we can both work on getting healthier. I also want to continue to work on my cleaning and organizing around these parts.  I am learning how to do that now that we have a new addition to the household that complicates things a bit (I probably should be cleaning now instead of blogging).  I love that our house has come so far and I don't want to let that slip.  Another goal I have is to start listening to Christian music again more regularly.  Kind of under the whole mindset of "garbage in, garbage out."  There is a new Contemporary Christian station in the Detroit area. 106.3 is finally home to KLove.  (Sorry, WMUZ...you suck.)  I have enjoyed listening to the songs and adding a few new songs to my repertoire. 

 

 

***3***

 

Speaking of things that should be on my NY Resolution list...how about my obsession with Diet Coke?  And not just any Diet Coke, but fountain Diet Coke.  Like in ginormous amounts.  I seriously need a 12 step program.  I told my Weight Watcher buddy that I was going to give up pop for a week so I could increase my water intake.  I went out to lunch and drank THREE large Diet Cokes!  I have no will power when it comes to my favorite carbonated drink. 

 

***4***

 

"Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  "I am rubber, you are glue.  Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you."   Whoever made up these silly children's rhymes didn't clearly understand the power of words.  In recent months, there have been some comments made to me both on Facebook and in person that have hurt me to the core.  Especially when they come from people you care deeply about.  I have been hurt so much that I have considered getting off Facebook, something that is not a surprise to anyone that I really enjoy.  What is most hurtful, however, is most of these comments are said with an "LOL" attached or in a joking manner.  So as if to say I can't be hurt because the person was just joking.  But even if someone is just joking, or thinks that if you put it a "LOL" with it then it's not a big deal, it IS a BIG deal.  To me at least.  So from my hurt I am really learning to think about what I say and how I say it.  Words hurt.  None of us are rubber.  In fact, sometimes those words leave a bruise bigger than we get from being slapped or hit.  I am sarcastic as all get out and sometimes my "humor" can be misconstrued.  I am working on that though because I never want to hurt people with my words, the way others words have hurt me.  My mom always said, "Once something comes out of your mouth you can never take it back, so choose your words wisely."  It's time for all of us to heed a little of momma's advice.

 

 

***5***

Noah has been home 5

 

weeks now! I can't believe it!  Tom and I are adjusting to parenthood as well as any parents of newborns adjust to parenthood.  There are ups and downs for sure.  I don't think anyone can prepare you for the sleep deprivation you will experience as a parent of a newborn.  We have learned what Noah's different cries mean (for the most part), we are experts now at diaper changes and bath time, and we have learned how to do a lot of things one handed. ;) I have to say though, with confidence, that as rewarding as being a parent is, it is by far the HARDEST undertaking we have ever encountered.  Parenting tests your physical, mental, and emotional strength all at the same time. I really thought with all my experience with babysitting and teaching I was more than prepared for motherhood, but nothing can prepare you.  I don't write this to whine, I write this as an admission.  Like I said, it's all worth it.  When that little crying bundle lays his head on my chest after I pick him up or flashes me a smile (Ok, it might be gas, but I will call it a smile...), or when I watch that sweet thing nap in his swing....I feel like the luckiest lady in the world.  But the multi tasking, late night feedings, and crying spells test me to the fullest if I am being honest.  But the good outweighs the bad and I wouldn't trade any of it for the world....ok...maybe the 4 am feeding.,...:)

 

 

 

 

***6***

 

On the humorous side of motherhood...lessons my son has taught me in 5 short weeks...



 

 

*It doesn't matter how many pacifiers we have...when we need one there isn't one to be found in the nearest arm reach except for the one laying in the middle of the floor dirty with cat hair.

 

*Poop is a big deal.  Especially when our little guy doesn't go for a few diapers.  Poop is brought up in our house at least 3 times daily between Tom and I.

 

*That thing about little boys liking to pee the second their diaper comes off.  100% true.  Pooping is also optional.  The bath tub is also a popular peeing spot.

 

*It doesn't matter if I am holding a burp cloth or not, I will be puked on at least once a day.  Spoiled milk is my new perfume.

 

*The odds of my sleeping child waking increase greatly the second I decide to do the dishes, write a blog, or finally decide to take a shower.

*To all of you moms daily sporting yoga pants, or hell even pajamas...I am sorry I judged you.  I get it now.

 

* Socks on newborns is the biggest joke out there.

 

*Little babies can still make really BIG sounds (and vibrations for that matter)

 

*Second biggest joke...hot coffee.  Not going to happen.

 

*You will make up the stupidest song ever just to attempt to calm your crying baby.  Secondly, half of the kids song you sang as a kid, you forget the words to as an adult.  Improvise, improvise, improvise.  (Though if you looked at Tom's google history, most searches would be lyrics to said songs.)

 

***7***

 

Tonight is New Year's Eve!  Our little family will be celebrating from the comfort of our home.  In fact, I hope to be sleeping as the ball drops because at 3 am someone will be hungry and mama needs her sleep.  So from our house to yours....Happy New Year!! May God's blessings be on you and those you love this year!

 

 



  

Reflections of a Year

Early this morning I was awake with our newborn son, as most mother's of newborns are. I had just finished pumping milk, and as I wrote the time and date, 12/21 at 4:30am, I recalled that exactly a year ago Tom and I received a call from Oakwood Hospital telling us our first child would not survive much longer and that we should get to the NICU as soon as possible.  I thought of our son, Jackson, as I often do and then went over to look at his brother asleep on his Boppy.  I allowed myself to sit and ponder the events that unfolded over the past year.  We have gone from the lowest of the lows, to the highest of the highs and have felt every emotion in between in the meantime.  We have been scared, mad, sad, hopeful, happy, lost, and confused.  This year, however, has changed and defined me in ways I couldn't have imagined. 

I read a quote recently by a man named, Haruki Murakami, it went like this,

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”    

I began to think about how this "storm" has changed me.  What has this past year taught me? How have I evolved as a person?  I have to be honest and say, sadly, this past year has removed my "rose colored glasses" for good.  Bad things happen.  Babies die.  Not all pregnancies end well.  It's sad really.  When someone tells me they are expecting, I am as scared for them as I am happy.  My experiences have tainted me in some ways.  And although the birth of our son Noah has restored a bit of my faith in modern medicine, the memory of Jackson tells me that we were blessed that Noah has survived. 

This past year I have been shown compassion and love that I didn't know existed in the world.  Social media has allowed me to share my grief and journey with many people and those who have reached out to me have restored my hope in humanity.  The love my family has been shown by others and encouraged me to love greater and be that friend to others.  The excitement people have when they finally meet Noah after following his story online touches me more than them.  The number of people praying for and rooting for us is remarkable. 

This past year I've also learned that some people can't be there for me.  Either by choice or by inability, some people I thought or wished would be there for me weren't.  And I have to be honest by saying that in some ways that is what hurt the most this past year.  But as I have grown this past year, I've also grown to accept that that is how it is.  Friendships change and evolve.  Some people have left my life this past year, and some have entered it.  I have to trust that the right people were in my life when I needed them most.  Those who weren't, just weren't.  Maybe it's uncomfortable? Maybe they felt I was too dramatic? Or maybe it was just time for them to make their exit.  Whatever it was, I have come to accept it.  People are who they are and you can't make them be something they aren't. 

This past year my faith in God has been tested.  In so many ways, I am justified in my anger at God.  He took my son after just 4 days.  But the opposite has happened.  My faith in God has been strengthened remarkably.  If anything I have become keenly aware that there is a greater being out there and that we have no control over certain things.  I have also felt God's love at times I didn't feel capable of loving again.  I have walked into church and broke down at just feeling the presence of God. 

This past year has taught me about what is important in life.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  I have developed a severe intolerance for any drama.  I really have zero time for it.  The silliness of junior high behavior and people who "get off" on it has left my radar.  I don't let it excite me or engage me.  I have learned to be upfront and honest with others and let the gossip go and backstabbing stop.  I've learned that there are things that really matter in this world.  Those are the things I choose to focus on and give my energy towards.  And the people in my life who exude drama really don't have a place in my circle anymore.  It's not worth it.  It's exhausting and I have so many other things to focus on. 

Finally, this past year has taught me that the man I married has far exceeded my expectations when it comes to being a husband.  If you know Tom personally, you know that he is the quiet reserved one and I am...well, not.  But the quiet strength I have seen in my husband this past year has touched me to my inner core.  There were times I was literally spinning out of control or crumbling to pieces and he remained calm and composed.  He has held me, picked me up, encouraged me, and loved me in ways I didn't realize he was capable of doing.  Truly I can tell you that he is the one that has held us together.  He is the reason I have survived all that this year has dished out.  He has been my rock.  His strength is shocking to me.  I am so blessed to call him my beloved and father to my boys.  I have learned to not take him for granted or underestimate what he is capable of.  I have learned just how truly blessed I am.

Tomorrow, December 22 (Noah's original due date), Noah will be baptized into the Catholic Church.  He will become a Christian and a saint in training.  Last year on December 22, we were at the same church celebrating a funeral mass for our son Jackson.  We have truly come full circle in a year.  This year has made it's impact.  We are forever changed...for the better.  We look forward to the next year when we can watch our son grow and evolve to the young boy God has called him to be knowing that our little St. Jackson watches over him from above.  We are better parents and people because of this year.  I want to end this with a quote from the Bible that reflects how Tom and I feel about both of our sons. 

Paraphrased from 1 Samuel:

 

"I asked the Lord to give me this boy and He granted my request.  Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life."

7 Quick Takes: Almost 2 Weeks Later....

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving our wildest dreams finally came true and we brought our sweet boy home from the hospital after 65 days in the NICU.  Our world has gone a little topsy turvy (in the best possible way) since then, but we are enjoying every minute of it....(Well, the 3am-5am time slot not so much if I am being honest.)  So after a bit of a hectic morning, my little buddy is asleep on his boppy next to me and I thought I would take a moment to blog.

***1***

In college I decided to stay home after visiting a college for a weekend and realizing that dorm life wasn't for me.  You see I have always been a person who needs sleep.  Early to bed and early to rise is my mantra and dorm life doesn't really support that. When I had to finish a last minute project or paper, after midnight I was toast.  So I would go to bed and wake up at 6 to finish.  That was so much  better than staying up all night for me.  So when I became a mom I was really worried about the lack of sleep thing.  I am a real jerk when I don't get enough sleep.  Well almost 2 weeks later, I am undoubtedly tired, and the middle of the night shifts are definitely a struggle, but I am surviving! In fact, I am doing better than I thought.  We still have to wake Noah every 3 hours for feedings so he continues to gain weight, and I dream of the day he sleeps through the night, but for now, we are doing it! Phew....

***2***

I am happy to report in the 2 weeks that Noah has been home, I have lost 4.4lbs!!  I am pretty proud of myself especially since I am a stress eater to the core.  Maybe that 5lb weight I am lifting all the time is helping me burn calories? ;)  I keep thinking about the next 3 weeks and what my weight loss goal is going to be for over the holidays.  I am very committed to losing weight and don't want to be a statistic when it comes to weight gain during the holidays.  I think my goal is going to be just not to gain anything.  That way I can still indulge and enjoy the holidays, but keep it within reason!  Praying those Christmas cookies don't kill me!

***3***

I love this time of year! Yes, we have a newborn at home, but it was important to me that we had our decorations up and we could be able to join in the celebration!  There are 3 things I love about this time of year. ONE: Christmas cards!  I know it's quickly becoming a lost art, but I love going to the mailbox each year and seeing the different cards from those I love.  I really love seeing photos of my friends kids and hand written notes from those I haven't heard from in awhile.  I love Christmas cards and am picking up ours tonight! Can't wait to send them out! TWO: Christmas Cookies! :) I am not the biggest sweet eater, but I love cookies! I especially love them at Christmas time.  My friend, Adrienne, always makes her shortbread this time of year and I cannot wait for it's arrival.  The problem with Christmas cookies is just that...I like them too much.  I can pop them in my mouth like they are nothing.  Hmmm, this year's challenge for sure.  THREE: I am one of those weird people who actually love to wrap gifts! I love embellishing them with fun ribbons and bows.  Each year I pick matching wrapping paper.  This year I am wrapping in butcher paper and stamping names in place of tags.  I love seeing all the presents under the tree. 

***4***

Noah is getting baptized on 12/22! We are so excited about this! The craziest thing is that is actually his due date.  It's crazy to think that he's still not even supposed to be here and yet here he sits with me.  This is his coming out party, since other than doctor's appointments Noah doesn't leave the house much.  We cannot wait to celebrate with our church family and our friends and family.  We also cannot wait to give our son to the Lord in Baptism.  We are having everyone back to our home afterwards. What a great celebration after the last year!  Another little saint in training will soon be in our home!

***5***

I have an admission to make.  I have a sick obsession to Target!  Cartwheel, coupons, and my RedCard which gives me 5% off each time and well, I am an addict.  It's become almost a game for me.  I cannot stand to buy almost anything now unless I get some sort of deal.  The great thing is you can combine all of the above to make major savings!  It makes buying things like paper plates and baggies almost fun to buy! Yes, it may lead to buying things I don't necessarily NEED sometimes, but I figure with all the money I am saving on those daily products that it's surely a wash at the end of the day, right?  Anyways, I think Target has hit it on the bulls eye in our home!

***6***

My mom and dad will be here in under 2 weeks!  I cannot wait for my dad to meet Noah finally and for the memories we will all have as a family.  Noah cannot wait for snuggles with Nana.  It's going to be a very special Christmas for us for sure!  Noah is surely a blessed little boy surrounded by a loving family.

***7***

They say a picture is worth a thousand words...so here goes nothing....

7 Quick Takes:Take 34.5

Take 34.5?  Well that's how old Noah is gestationally....so why not??

Let's get to it....

***1***

My friend Gail taught me a lot of things in life, but one little thing I picked up from her was buying yourself flowers.  My husband, well...my husband is a lot of things wonderful, but he stinks at sending me flowers or other little gifts. (Don't worry...I tell him this all the time.) So, today I bought myself flowers.  I love having flowers in the house.  I bought a lovely bouquet of mixed flowers in wonderful hues of fall.  Flowers make me happy!

***2***

I mentioned last week that I have been nesting lately.  Well the nesting lives on....so far this week I have tackled the pantry and our front hall closet!  Plus a few other areas of the house that needed organizing and going through.  After a trip to our local Good Will for drop off I am sure our little house is breathing easier now that a few more items have left the premises.  It feels SO GOOD getting rid of stuff!  The older and wiser I get the more I appreciate having less stuff! Do you know that I donated 5 winter coats???  Why would anyone need 5 winter coats!? People are freezing and need coats.  I felt good about my donation. (Though slightly gluttonous with myself...)

***3***

I made a big decision yesterday for Noah and for myself.  You see, sometimes newborns don't latch on well with breast feeding.  Now take a little preemie with less energy, coordination, and age and it doesn't often go too well.  I, however, was hell bent that he was going to take to breast feeding and was really pushing him to nurse each feeding I was there.  He would latch on and do ok, but he was rarely successful beyond a few minutes of sporadic nursing.  One of things preventing Noah from coming home right now is that he needs to be able to nipple all feedings.  Noah does really well with the bottle.  So yesterday, Tom and I talked and decided it was time for us to focus on bottling well so we can get him home.  Every bit of energy we waste on him trying to breast feed prevents him from coming home sooner.  What's important to us is that he gets the breast milk, how he gets the milk is less important.  So for now I will commit to pumping and helping my little guy be successful feeding from the bottle.  We may try the breast again once he's home and we can focus a little more and he's a little older.  As soon as we made the decision, I was so relieved.  I didn't realize how much pressure I was putting on both of us.  I had to accept that I wasn't a failure of a mother because my child isn't breast feeding and although I dread not being able to put away my pump, the important thing is that he is getting that "liquid gold." 

***4***

Today I saw this on my grief supports' wall. 



It touched me so much that I hope to soon write a reflection blog soon about surviving the last year.  This coming Monday will be a year since I first found out about my cervix issues, and our angel Jackson's 1st birthday is approaching too.  I can't believe all that's happened in a year and I am still here to talk about it.   But anyways....stay tuned.

***5***

I find the whole Obama care, health insurance crisis,....blah, blah, blah...to be annoying and a real pain in my hiney.  We had to choose a whole new compliant insurance plan this week. (We buy our own insurance since the hubster is self employed...)  It's so confusing! Which is the better plan, most cost efficient, the right fit for our family???  Anyways, I don't want to open a debate on all of this, I am just saying I am sick of politicians messing up our lives with plans that promise to be better for us all.  Did I mention our rates went up despite promises that it wouldn't?  I will leave it at that.....

***6***

I love fall.  I love when the leaves change color and are so beautiful to look at.  I hate however when they fall to the ground and require raking.  That is all.

***7***

The hardest part for me leaving Noah in the NICU each night is thinking that he may be crying and the nurses might not be able to console him or cuddle him at that moment.  They are wonderful, but there are lots of babies who need care and sometimes a crying baby can immediately be attended to.  I hate it.  Anyways, today as I walked into the NICU my worst fear came true.  I heard a child crying rather loudly and recognized immediately just who's cry it was!  Mom was running 5 minutes late and my little boy was hungry!!  I was amazed that of the 35 babies in the NICU currently and all the bells and alerts going on, I knew it was my kid immediately.  I guess it's true that they say you know your child's cry.  Don't worry....he got extra cuddles afterwards.



Have a great weekend everyone!! 

7 Quick Takes: A Day Early...

It's been a long while since I've blogged.  I keep meaning to do it, but ummm....I'm a mom now, and even though my little guy isn't home yet, multiple visits to the NICU each day and pumping 8 times a day has kind of thrown off any mojo that I once had and well blogging has gone right out the window.  But tonight I have decided to give myself a coffee break and sit down and write.  I need to write.  I need to let it all out!  So if anyone actually reads this that will be great....if not, hopefully my head will be clearer and my day just a little bit better.

***1***

My son has been in the hospital now for 6 weeks and 3 days...that totals out to 45 whole days in the NICU.  For me that totals out to roughly 90 trips to the hospital and countless hours spent by his side.  Add this to the 3 weeks I spent in the hospital prior to his arrival and I will tell you that I am just about done with my dear friends at the hospital.  They have all been wonderful let me tell you, but if I never see the inside of our hospital it will be soon enough.  I CANNOT wait to get our son home and begin our journey as a family together.   Just a few more weeks...I can do this, but tonight it feels like an insurmountable task.  Dear God give me some patience!

***2***

This past weekend something clicked in.  Many of you have experienced it, but it kind of caught me by surprise.  I am officially nesting!  The hours not spent taking care of my son and visiting with him are spent getting this house, which has been sorely neglected in the last year, up to par!  I am like a wild woman!  Hanging pictures, pitching junk, piles for Goodwill, deep cleaning...this mama is nesting and every where I look there is something else to tackle.  I have never had such a desire to simplify and organize as I have this last week.  I am happy with my progress, but there is still so much to do!  One day, one room at a time, but hopefully by the time our little guy is ready to be home I will feel that our house is better prepared to welcome him.

***3***

Becoming a mom has quickly made me realize I need to get much, much more organized.  I have never been good at house keeping, perhaps I am lazy, perhaps it just doesn't come naturally to me, but whatever the reason is, it hasn't ever been my forte. But since Noah has been here Tom and I have laughed that we have yet to be on time to most places and we really need to get our act together!  I am learning to put things away after I use them or bring them home.  It makes things a lot easier to find when you are rushing to get out of the door.  I am learning to not be a pile-er.  I have a tendency to pile things, especially mail and other papers, to go through at another time.  Unfortunately, this leads to lots of clutter.  We have started to come up with some organization to this so that it doesn't overtake our kitchen table again.  I can't tell you, in all seriousness, how hard this is for me.  I am really struggling.  I am trying like hell, and remind myself several times during the day how taking these extra steps now, will make things so much easier later, but it's a conscious effort each and every time.  I have also adopted a daily cleaning schedule which focuses on a room each day.  So far, I haven't stuck to it completely only because some of my rooms took extra days because I really need to organize and purge before they were acceptable to me.  But I think it's good in concept and I hope I can stick to it and make it work for me.  This week and next week are really devoted to getting each of the rooms up to par, so that from here on out it will be maintenance only.  In theory of course....

***4***

The last couple days I have been tackling our master bedroom.  We are blessed to have a wonderfully large bedroom, but unfortunately it's on the second floor so nobody sees it but us.  So you can imagine what happened.  It was often in chaos and disarray.  It was better than ever, but it always bothered me that we didn't have a nice bedroom to go to at night.  We purchased a new bed this past winter and have been working to declutter too.  I've gotten rid of lots of clothes and shoes, especially since I don't work anymore.  Today though I decided that enough is enough!  I wanted our bedroom not only to be clean, but to be nice.  A place I want to go to.  Did I tell you I've started making our bed each morning?  I can't believe how much nicer it feels to go to bed with a nicely made bed each night!  Anyways, I hung the pictures and shelves that have been sitting on the floor and ironing board forever. (Have you seen the masking tape trick for hanging things that need 2 nails??  Brilliant!)  My husband was pleasantly surprised when he came home and went upstairs to see our room warmed up with artwork, pictures, and shelves.  Yes, we may have ugly red carpet for now and wood paneling too! (Yuck!) But at least it's a little more homey, a little more inviting, definitely cleaner, and who knows....maybe this winter (ok, probably spring) we will finally get around to painting and updating our poor room.  Until then...this will work.

***5***

The other thing neglected in my life was...well...me.  That is, since I had Noah I ate anything and everything and actually gained weight after his birth!  Can you say emotional eating???  Well, it was back to Weight Watchers for this foodaholic!  I weigh in tomorrow for the first time. I have done really well this week and hopefully with my extra activity cleaning it will pay off at the scale.  Regardless I already feel better, have more energy, and have made so many better food choices.  Food is my alcohol and I was seriously out of control.  I knew I needed to get it in check before it got worse! I will soon have a little boy to chase around the house and I need to be in shape in order to do so.  Thankfully, one of my dear friends is going with me and we have been able to be a great support to one another!  Thank goodness for friends like her. 

***6***

Coffee...well it is life for now.  Need I say more?

***7***

Christmas is roughly 50 days away!  I have found myself turning on the carols from time to time already and enjoying some of my favorite jingles! (I know it's not Thanksgiving yet, and I can see some of you shaking your heads and scoffing, but frankly, I don't really care.  It's my happy place while driving.)  Anyways, today I was thinking that Christmas will be so special this year because I will be celebrating Christmas as a mom!  Yes, Noah is not going to remember this Christmas, and don't worry, we aren't buying him much, but I think this Christmas is going to be so special for Tom and I.  I can't wait to get Noah's picture in front of our tree, perhaps we will even make a brief trip out to meet Santa.  It's the most wonderful time of the year for sure!  Feliz Navidad!

Well, my coffee break is over and it's time to head back to my favorite place in the world (cough, cough...) and tuck our little guy in for the night.  Bon nuit!

7 Quick Takes: I'm Back!

Happy Friday everyone! The hubbster and I decided that since Noah is doing so great these days we would give ourselves a little reprieve and catch up on a few things at home this morning...like getting Noah's room ready and shower invitations ordered...oh yes and bottles, bottles, bottles....BUT I decided to give myself a small break too and decided I should blog again quickly.  So here goes my 7 Quick, Quick Takes!

***1***

Noah is 11 days old today! Holy Smokes!  He is doing so great and each day Tom and I are amazed at his progress! He is almost back to his birth weight, eating the max amount for his age (18ml each feeding), and working on breathing on his own without assistance.  For someone who isn't supposed to be here for another 12 weeks, we think this is remarkable! His doctor's and nurses all seem to be happy with his progress too.  We are hoping he will be home by Thanksgiving!  We certainly have a lot to be thankful for!

***2***

11+ weeks of bed rest did it's toll on me physically!  It's been a long 11 days trying to build up my strength and endurance again.  Each day gets better thankfully!  I was able to walk up the stairs at the hospital yesterday for the first time and was able to skip the stinky elevator!  Though being the mother of a NICU baby is exhausting in it's own right. I am hoping that by the time Noah gets home I should be in better shape and ready to handle an infant day in and out!

***3***

I have cooked one meal since I've been home.  Thankfully, we've had a few friends drop off some meals off and that go us through the first few days home.  Otherwise, I am sad to say we have eaten out way too much!  That's the next hurdle I hope to handle.  I did manage to go grocery shopping and get a few easy meals to make.  Now it's just doing that....wish me luck!  Eating out doesn't help losing the baby weight for sure.

***4***

Breast milk is referred to as "liquid gold" in the NICU.  We had decided we were going to breast feed almost immediately when we found out I was pregnant.  But I've got to say in all honesty....it's a TON of work having to pump 8-10 times a day.  (Yes, I am up at 3am each night to pump...) Between the washing of bottles, leaking all the day (thank God for breast pads), and extreme thirst...sometimes I have to remind myself that I am giving my son the best gift I can right now.  I think it will be more rewarding when I can actually nurse my son the majority of the time versus having to pump. 

I won't stop regardless because I know it's so great for Noah, but it is indeed the first of many sacrifices I will make for my child.

***5***

I've been thinking a lot about our first son, Jackson, these days.  As grateful as I am for his brother, I am saddened a bit by the fact that we never got the chance to enjoy Jackson like we are Noah.  Many people may think that just because we have a 2nd son, our sadness over losing our first child is lessened.  That may make logical sense to some of you, but I have to say that is very far from the truth.  Noah didn't replace Jackson.  Jackson will always be our first born and every day I am disappointed that he was taken from us so soon.  He would be almost 10 months old now...sometimes I wonder what he would look like, what he would be doing now, and how different our lives would be if he was still here.  But, alas, he's not here.  Instead we have this little saint in heaven praying for his family here on earth. 

We love you sweet angel.  Mom and Dad miss you every day and I am sorry that Noah will never get to meet you until he joins you one day in heaven. 

***6***

Fall is my absolute favorite time of year!!  I love pumpkins, apples, leaves, cider, CANDY CORN, and just about anything else that comes with fall!  I am glad that if Noah had to come early, which we of course wish he didn't, at least I get to enjoy some of fall.  It really has been so enjoyable for me.

Speaking of pumpkins...this is my favorite pumpkin of all.  ;)

 

 

***7***

My favorite part of every day is holding my son.  We can only do so for about 2 hrs a day total at this point.  So those 2 hours are like heaven for me.

My least favorite part of each day is leaving the hospital each night.  I can't wait until my boy comes home for good.  I will say however, I am so thankful that he is receiving the best care from some of the best doctors and nurses out there.  It makes leaving a little bit easier.....

OK...back up to the hospital!!  Enjoy your weekend!

7 Quick Takes: Take 26 (or something like that)

Well, 2 weeks and 3 days later here I am in the hospital.  Still pregnant (remarkably) and somehow I haven't gone completely stir crazy.  I am officially 26 weeks and 5 days pregnant and hoping and pray we make it to the 28 week mark on  9/29.  In an effort to stay busy and positive here goes my 7 takes for this week...

***1***

I thought I would start off on a positive note and tell you things about hospital life that make it not so bad.  The first is, since I was a little I loved chewing ice, I think the hospital has the best freaking ice out there!!  It's got perfect crunch to it.  Plus, they always make sure I have a cold ice water bedside 24 hours a day.  It's wonderful.  Second, someone makes me bed every day.  Clean sheets, nicely made bed, pillows fluffed.  It's great.  I take a shower and when I return I have a lovely bed to return to.  Lastly, the nurses are wonderful.  They've listened to me cry, laughed with me, told me funny stories, and even let me sleep in from time to time.  I don't know how I would survive without them honestly.

***2***

I have to say one of the hardest things is having a roommate.  It's not that I am a total bitch, it's just this is such a stressful situtation to start with and it's hard when someone else is in here.  My nerves are shot and I have a short fuse due to all the stress, so it's fair to say that my patience (which was never very good in the first place) is wearing thin.  Something like a Jerry Springer marathon is enough to throw me over the edge!  Or their husbands who use the patient bathroom for roughly 20 minutes and 4 flushes (if you catch my drift), when we are doing everything we can to make sure I don't get any type of infection, despite the large sign that states "patients only" on the door.  I would welcome a friendly face and someone I could pass the time with, but so far I have had only one roommate (who didn't speak english) that I felt I could "talk" with.  (How ironic is that?)  Anyways, that is my biggest complaint.  Thanks for letting me get that out.

***3***

I have been thinking a lot about the coverage on Pope Francis's statement this past week and all of the secular and reliious coverage it has been getting.  I definitely think there has been some twisting of words by the media.  Yes, the church is heading down a new road, and yes, it's important we minister to all people without judgement, but I think in my humble opinion what Pope Francis is trying to say is that we need to focus on the people and less on the issues.  We've lost our focus in some ways.  I would like to say first off, that I agree with the pro lifers and defenders of marriage 110%.  I don't think those issues are not worth fighting for, because they are, but when the issues consume us we forget to minister to the people.  Isn't that what Christ called us to do? Be fishers of men, go back for that lost sheep, welcome the wayward son back with open arms? I think that's what he is saying.  Don't forget love.  There is a reason it's the greatest commandment.  There is too much judgement and not enough love.  We all need a lesson is learning to love people where they are at.  The girl who had an abortion, the gay neighbor we have, the annoying roommate (ouch!), or the family member who drives us crazy.  We need to judge less and love more.  Meet them where they are at.  And I have to be honest in saying christians are often not good at that.  We get too high and mighty sometimes and forget that we aren't better than others, rather we are called to love in an even greater capacity.

(Stepping off my soap box)

***4***

My dear friend Lindsay made me a chain link of positive quotes and statements counting down the days until we reach 28 weeks, which was originally when I was going to get to go home if everything stayed stable.  Every day, like a small child awaits their turn on an Advent calendar, I get excited to take the day's link off and see what positive statement she has written for today.  9 more links btw! 

***5***

Fall is my favorite time of year and I am so missing getting to experience all the wonderful things fall has to offer! Apple orchards, pumpkin patches, maybe even Halloween.  Little Noah is going to be saturated in all things fall next year for sure!  Tom and I have a list of all the great things we are going to do next year that we missed out on this year.  My mom did decorate my house so when I get home I will get to enjoy it.  Obviously, I hope I don't get home too early, but I might have to get a few pumpkins up here...

***6***

My niece Morgan has been up to my room to visit me a few times.  She is almost 10, and I have to say no one brings a smile to my face like she does.  I love watching her grow up...I think mostly because she is a mini me.  I get to relive my childhood through her.  She loves crafts, acting, and singing in dancing.  She hates gym class but has the best sense of humor!  She has been at camp for the last few days, and I cannot wait to hear all about it! She loves to text me and use all those silly emojis. (I admit, I love it too!)

***7***

I am laughing today as I look around my room.  My mom has created my own little apartment in here.  They are going to hate the day I go into labor and they have to move all of my crap to a labor and delivery room.  LOL.  OH well, I guess it comes with the job.  :)

Happy Friday to all of you! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Enjoy your family and go apple picking in my honor!! 

7 Quick Takes: Live from the Hospital

Good morning, y'all!!  My quick takes are coming this morning from my comfy hospital bed.  It's day 4 for hospital bed rest for me.  Hospital bed rest definitely has it's ups and downs, but I am doing my hardest to remain positive and remember that this is the best place for my sweet Noah right now.  I decided to start these quick takes with a short update on me and my "status" since many of you have asked.

So here's the skinny.  Today I am officially 24 weeks and 5 days pregnant.  This is 12 days longer than I was pregnant with Jackson giving us roughly a 35% better chance of survival for our little guy.  Plus, he's had steroids for his lungs, which increases his chances of not only surviving, but having less complications.  In saying all of this, each day we are thankful he has stayed put for one more day, but our next small goal is 26 weeks, when he will be 26 weeks and have a 80% chance of survival.  28 weeks continues to be our long term goal at this point.  My cervix measured 4mm on Tuesday, traditionally doctors like woman's cervix to measure 30 mm or more.  I am not dilated however, and my cerclage (stitches) are still holding thankfully.  Noah, is still healthy and passes his test each morning, meaning he stays on the monitor for 20 minutes so they can hear his heart beat.  Though, he enjoys kicking the monitor from time to time and playing hide and seek too.  Other than the aches and pains that come from laying in a bed 23 hours a day (the other hour accounts for my many trips to the bathroom and my daily shower in that fancy shower chair), we are both doing just fine for the most part.

On to this week's quick takes:

***1***

Let me start off by telling you about my moon boots I get to wear daily.  They are these fancy contraptions I get to wear for many hours a day to help prevent blood clots.  Apparently, I am a guinea pig for these new boots that replaced the horrible ones that went up your whole leg.  Everyone has been in to ask how I like them.  I feel pretty important so I try to talk them up whenever I can.  They do provide some sort of massage quality to my feet so they aren't too bad.  They do however make me super hot from time to time.  Oh modern technology!

***2***

Next up...let's talk about hair.  My biggest regret to date is that I didn't sneak out of the house before Tuesday to get my hair cut and my face waxed.  Oh my....can you say HOT MESS!!??  I apologize to my nurses, doctors, and visitors.  My dreaded feet could desperately use a pedicure too.  I know what mamas reward for surviving bed rest is going to be.

***3***

It's funny, but being in the hospital has made me realize just how much I don't enjoy watching the TV.  I try to watch it in the mornings, but I get so annoyed by the stupid commercials and news stories that they repeat, and repeat.  Do you know that the Today Show is on for like 9 hours straight??  Ridiculous! I do put Ellen on each day at 3 for some laughs, and I am thankful for my Netflix app, but other than a few choice shows, the TV is off in my room.  I have much more enjoyed listening to music on my iPad.  

***4***

 Let's talk about hospital food.  Although, it's not the worst thing I have eaten, the menu is getting old quick! Plus, with my gestational diabetes they limit my choices.  Jerks.  They are seriously lacking raw veggies and non starchy options.  They do have some fabulous Mac N Cheese however!  Anyways, thankfully my family is coming to the rescue and bringing me in some better options from time to time. They also have a fridge on the floor I can keep stuff in as well.  

***5***

I am thankful that I have a bed with a window. I have only had a roommate for a total of 12 hours to share my view with.  And although I look on to  roof, in the distance are lots of trees and I am looking forward to watching them change colors.  I also enjoy opening my window and letting some fresh air in from time to time.  It makes everything a little better.

***6***

I miss my husband.  Especially at night when I have to go to sleep by myself.  It's kind of ironic because when we first got married I had to adjust to sleeping with a snoring, hot box each night, but now it's hard to fall asleep without him here.  Yes, he visits, but at the end of the night he has to go home and I hate that the most.  He is a quality snuggler.

***7***

Finally, I really must give a shout out to the awesome nurses, aides, and doctors I have encountered thus far!  They have all been nice, attentive, compassionate and overall great! I am thankful that they are here and looking out for my best interests.  They have great attitudes and most of the time wear a smile on their faces.  They change my sheets daily, my water cup is never empty, and they never moan when I hit the call button.  Good job Oakwood hospital! :)

7 Quick Takes: Week 23

Well the dreaded Week 23 of this pregnancy has not disappointed with a roller coaster of emotions.  We are trying to weather this storm with faith and grace, but some days sure are easier than others.  Anyways...here we go with this week's quick takes.

***1***

Last week we were bummed to discover that I unfortunately have gestational diabetes.  :(  Luckily, so far I am able to manage it just by changing my diet.  Well, the first few days were pretty rough.  I had no clue of just how many carbs I ate in a day.  I really am not a big sweet eater, but the little snacky items I consume in a day are just filled with carbs!  Fruit, crackers, meal choices! Carbs, carbs, carbs!On top of it all, I was STARVING!!  Ravenous even...but I was afraid to eat anything wrong that would mess with my blood sugars. Anyways, after talking to some ladies who have been down this road before I have figured out some better meal choices and I am starting to figure out better choices for eating.  I also barely flinch now when I have to poke my finger 4 times a day!  Once again I say Motherhood is not for the weak!

***2***

Finally, we have reaped the fruits of our labor and our tomatoes have started to ripen.  I love fresh tomatoes from the garden. And, I can eat as many of them as I want!! (I think...I better double check that...) :) Score!!

***3***

Being a short haired woman, I go to the beauty salon (and by beauty salon I mean Great Clips) every 4-6 weeks.  Well, I have been on bed rest since June 16...seriously since July 15th, and well let's just say my hair is feeling the pain.  My husband, in true guy style, is grateful it's getting longer, but it is seriously driving me crazy! I have had short hair most of my life so I don't even know what to do when it gets longer.  I have become very creative with headbands and barrettes.  They compliment my constant bed head nicely.  Maybe I will be like the hockey players that don't shave their beards until they win the Stanley Cup Finals!  Let's see just how horrible (and long) my hair can look when I deliver my son.  I guess that's one way to avoid the camera!  Thankfully, I don't go out in public too often these days.

***4***

Fall is my absolute favorite time of year and spending a lot of time on Pinterest these days has really made me want to get all of my fall décor out and decorate our home.  I love pumpkins and apples and all the fun stuff that is fall! I am making myself wait until after Labor Day, which thankfully is just a few days away, but I think it is really going to lift my spirits to have some new fall decorations to look at.  My mom did humor me and put up a couple of things and bought me a mum to look at. 

I also have seen about 100 pumpkin recipes I'd like to try.  If pumpkin fudge and crumble cake are made with a can of real pumpkin that practically makes the dish a vegetable, right? And therefore I can eat them with ease? That's my story and I'm sticking to it....

***5***

Many of the women at our church have started delivering meals to us twice a week which has truly been a God send.  Tom often leaves the house at 8am and doesn't get home until 7 most days.  So it's been a challenge with dinners a lot of days.  We are trying our best to not eat out constantly and maintain somewhat healthy eating (especially since this past week) so that Noah is healthy and mama doesn't gain too much weight.  (So far it's under 10 lbs and with my new diet I think I may have lost another couple pounds) Anyways, back to my point.  These angels I call my friends have truly blessed us.  Dinner arrives made for us and Tom is able to scoop it out when he gets home and we have a nice healthy, hot meal to eat.  There are always leftovers too which works for us.  In fact, my refrigerator is quite full these days.  Yesterday, after our meal was delivered, with my diabetes in mind, I really stopped to thank God for these women.  Many of them have jobs, families, and aren't millionaires and yet they sacrifice time and money to bless us during this time.  I look forward to the day that I can repay them.  For now, I hope all these angels know just how blessed we feel and that their kind deeds do not go unnoticed or under appreciated.

***6***

In just 2 days...I can't believe it...2 days...I will be at our first major goal of 24 weeks!  At that point my little guy has a 50/50 chance of survival! I honestly thought some days I would never make it to this point.  This weekend I will make another trip to the hospital to get some steroids for his lungs to help boost their growth just in case things were to go sour.  This will put my mind at ease.  After that our next long term goal is 28 weeks!  So starting Sunday we will be putting up a countdown...28 days until 28 weeks!!  I can't wait to rip off a piece of paper each day as we get closer to this next goal!  We are believing God that we will make it there.  We are so thankful once again for all of you that have joined us in prayer and faith believing that there will be a good outcome to this story!

***7***

It's Labor Day weekend and it's always a sad time of year for me.  Soon, my mom and dad will be heading back to their winter home in Florida.  My mom is thankfully sticking around a little while longer though because she wanted to throw me a baby shower before she left. So thankfully I have a few more weeks with her, but my daddy-o leaves on the 9th and that stinks! :( Sometimes it's hard being the daughter of snow birds.  Yes, we have a great vacation place to visit, and yes, they will be back shortly for the birth of their grandson and the holidays, but it still stinks. 

Well folks, Happy Labor Day weekend to you all! I hope you all enjoy this last weekend of summer surrounded by those you love the best! The hubster and I will be....our favorite friends at Oakwood Hospital.  ;)  But we hope to sneak in some fun too!  Just this morning we had a competition to see who could type out the Our Father the fastest with the fewest errors.  Don't tell me that's not fun!?!?

Peace out!

7 Quick Takes: Take 21

We were up early for our weekly doctor appointment with my OB so I am ready for my nap before my visitors du jour show up starting at 2pm.  But I know you would all be sad if I didn't publish, so I figured I would shoot these out first.  (Aren't I kind?)

***1***

Speaking of visitors!  This has been the week of visitors.  I have been so blessed to have so many friends and family stop by this week to keep company.  I've hardly had any time to feel sorry for myself or to get bored.  All my visitors have also spoiled me with all sorts of good foods and sweets!  I laughed this morning when I gained 2lbs in the last week.  (Not to worry, I have only gained a total of 9 lbs this pregnancy...which is a very healthy weight gain.  I was probably due for a weight gain anyways.)  I have been really touched by everyone's kindness and generosity.  Noah loves the sweets just like his dad and dances around each time mom indulges.  It's been a really good week for us.  I am feeling so encouraged and feel we can really do this!  Thank you to all my visitors!  :)

***2***

One not so good thing about all the sweets and goodies is I failed my preliminary gestational diabetes test this week. :(  It's probably just a coincidence, and I only failed by 2 measley points, but regardless, I failed.  So I am on to my 3 hour glucose tolerance test in the next few weeks to see if I have gestational diabetes.  Ugh.  Oh well, I guess with my track record it's to be expected and I don't have the best family genes or physical health right now, but I would love prayers to pass this one!  I really don't feel like messing with shots for the rest of this pregnancy!

***3***

On to shots...no, not the Jim Beam kind of shots, the super long needle shots.  Well, I have a stupid urinary tract infection that won't go away!  And as my luck would have it, no oral antibiotics will fight off the strand of bacteria I was lucky enough to contract, so after a fight with our insurance company, trips to multiple pharmacies, my husband and I acquired a new skill this past week.  My poor husband, who isn't a fan of all things medical, had to give me shots twice a day!  He was a real trooper and did a  great job, despite the shots hurting like hell each time the meds went in.  We are waiting for results to see if it's all gone! Next up, daily IV's from a home health aid nurse if it won't go away....the fun never ends here!



***4***

Speaking of fun things going on this house....my son has really gotten active and big enough that mom is enjoying feeling her little guy more and more!!  Nothing gets him moving more than a cup of decaf in the morning, mom's favorite tunes, and as mentioned some good sweets.  I really enjoy feeling him (except when he decided to dance on my bladder last night and I had to pee every 15 minutes.)  I can't wait until he gets a little bigger and his daddy can feel him moving too!  He is a bit of a show off like his mom however, and decided to do a somersault during our ultrasound this morning!  I think I better start saving for him gymnastics classes starting now! This kid's got talent!

***5***

In celebration of good news at the doctors this Monday, we decided to go ahead with starting to put together Noah's room.  My dad and hubby put his crib together and my mom started setting things up and cleaning out any non-baby items from his room.  Every time I get up to use the bathroom I peek in there and it makes my heart sing.  Although everyone assumes that we are going to do a Noah's Ark theme since it's our son's namesake, we decided to go with a robot theme instead.  The hubster is a gadget guy so, we hope Noah will take after his dad in love of all things technology related.  Plus, they really have some super cute baby boy robot accessories!  Here's a sneak preview of some of the preliminary changes to his room!  To celebrate 22 weeks on Sunday I think I may order a few things for his walls and his dresser this week!  It stinks I can't be in there doing it all myself, but I get to enjoy it!

    



***6***

We also have decided to go ahead with my baby shower.  We had always planned to have it early before my mom went back to Florida and with the likelihood of me making it full term it seemed to make most sense.  I will have to sit in my antigravity chair the entire time and it will be a big day for me, but I am excited to celebrate and act like we are having a somewhat normal pregnancy...even if just for a few hours.  My mom has been hitting up Pinterest and is excited to be able to do this for Tom and I. 



***7***

I think I might be coming down with a cold!  Boo.  I guess that's more reason to nap and take it easy on the couch.  What else do I have to do??

Ok, I am off to my nap before my next round of guests shows up in a bit!  Have a great weekend everyone!!  Toodle-loo!

7 Quick Takes: 7 Things I wish I was Doing

This is Take 20 and this has been a one heck of a day! I started off cranky and have ended my day flabbergasted at the absurdity of this day and this pregnancy! Before anyone panics mama and baby are doing just fine! Well, baby is just fine and at no risk.  Mama is overwhelmed with doctors, pharmacies, and bed rest!  So today for my 7 Quick Takes, please go with me to 7 happy places I'd like to be right now.

***1***

Let's pretend I am not pregnant for a second. To be honest, I'd like to start at a bar stool.  Beer in my hand, ((cough, cough)) cigarette in the other hand, and some good tunes playing in the background.  (Don't worry, my husband would knock the cigarette out of my hand almost immediately...but I'd like to go back to my college days for just a bit.)  I would love to just chill and relax, maybe dance with my husband, and just laugh over my Labatt Blue.


***2***

My husband and I dreamed tonight about getting in the car and heading to a really nice hotel, one with a great hot tub, room service, and a lush King size bed.  We'd like to jump in the pool and swim a few laps!  We would love breakfast in bed and free HBO! :)

***3***

Next up, on a beach with a great view of the sunset.  I would love to hear the waves of the ocean coming in and watch the beautiful pink sky, snuggled under the blanket with my hubby.

***4***

What I wouldn't give right now to be pushing a red cart around with a pretzel and slushy around my favorite store in the entire world...Target.  I would go up and down every aisle, check out all the clearance end caps, and buy some things I need and somethings I just want.  My Target Debit card isn't getting nearly enough action these days!

***5***

I would go to Mass.  I miss my church family and I miss receiving Jesus in Word and Eucharist.  I can't sit upright for that long, so right now I have to fore go Mass, but I would really love to go.  You don't realize how vital church is to your life until you can't go!  I really miss it!

***6***

I would love to be taking a walk around my neighborhood.  Checking out what everyone is doing with their yard, getting a big breath of fresh air, and getting some exercise.  I would water my flowers and pick my tomatoes.

***7***

Finally, I'd love a nice night at a great restaurant with some of my closest friends!  A bottle of wine (for them of course) some appetizers, some really good bread basket, and maybe a steak or chicken piccata.   We would of course follow it with dessert and a mug of coffee!

Ok, ok...I got that all out.  In reality, I have a lot to be thankful for.  Bed rest is not the greatest thing in life, but I am home, I've had lots of visitors and people caring for me.  My son is squirming and healthy.  I have a great husband who has helped me survive this despite working full time and worrying constantly about us.

7 Quick Takes: Take 19

Ok..so if you are counting, I didn't QT last week, so technically this is 18, but I am trying to keep it lining up with my weeks of pregnancy and since this is the end of week 19 I am going to stick with that!! 

***1***

I am going to start off with the most exciting quick take in my eyes!!  So, as we approach the viability marker (24 weeks) and also the time in which I delivered Jackson (23 weeks) I find myself becoming increasingly more anxious.  I have texted my doctor at least 3 times this week alone.  Every little pain or abnormality in my mind leaves me freaking out and texting her to see if I am ok.  So, I don't feel little Noah move all the time yet, but I usually feel something here and there.  Well, it had been at least a day since I felt him so I immediately freaked out.  I kept praying last night for God to tell my little boy to give me a good swift kick, but he didn't.  So, this morning I once again got out my home fetal heart beat monitor.  Up until now I was unsuccessful at hearing any thing.  I think my extra padding makes it a little more difficult.  But after searching around this morning I finally heard his little heart beat.  It was quick and strong!!  I yelled for Tom to come up so daddy could hear it too! We smiled!  Then once I took it off, Noah kicked me.  I think he was saying "I'm all good in here, now leave me alone!"

***2***

Speaking of pregnancies...Sunday I will be 20 weeks!  That's right the half way point!  And although we only dream of making it to 40 weeks, it's still exciting to make it to this milestone!  4 more weeks until viability...8 weeks until my little guy has one helluva chance of surviving without any major issues! We of course hope to make it into the 30's!  I read a fact online yesterday that 1 day in the womb equals 3 days in the NICU.  So we gotta keep buddy boy cooking for as long as possible.

***3***

So what have I been doing to keep myself busy on bed rest, you ask?  Well let me tell you!  I have been trying to find a craft or something to work on.  I used to cross stitch with my mom when I was a little girl and I happened to mention this to my friend, Katie.  Well she happened to be at Joanns the other day and found the most perfect, most adorable little cross stitch pattern that said "Pray without Ceasing" and had a little boy praying with the hands of his mother.  Perfect, right??  So yesterday, I decided to start it!  Wowsers!!  This isn't one of those simple patterns my mom gave me!  This is the super advanced cross stitcher's patterns.  So once I finally figured it all out, called my mom a few times, and read the directions several times I finally started.  It was slow and tedious, but it's starting to come back to me.  I can't wait to get it finished!

***4***

What else have I been doing?  Besides TV, Facebook, Pinterest, and the internets in general?  Oh, I've been relearning my French.  Both the hubby and I used to be pretty fluent in French and both have traveled there as students, but as the old mantra goes...."If you don't use it, you lose it."  So the great Katie told me about this free app she has Duolingo that you can learn a language on.  So I have begun brushing up on my francais once again.  Tom says once we both get good at it we are going to go back to Paris one day!  That sounds tres bien to me!!

***5***

I know for all of you mothers with young kids out there are really disgusted with this summer weather.  Not great weather for pools, out door play dates, and all that other fun stuff you do in the summer.  But for me it's been kind of great!  Being stuck in the house for 3 weeks strictly, sometimes the walls cave in.  So being able to open the windows and let the fresh air in has really made a big difference.  Plus, all this rain has made my garden grow just beautifully.  My tomatoes are green and getting ready for picking.  I have only had to water my garden 3 or 4 times total this summer.  Thank you mother nature for helping us save on both our water and electric bills this summer!

**6***

This week's cravings...because I know you are dying to know!  Sloppy joes, Doritos, Jolly Ranchers, FRUIT!!!, and Zingerman's Brownie Bites.  Thankfully my dear husband has been a rock star and I have had all of them!  My mom gets the credit for the sloppy joes, however.

***7***

I have to give a special shout out to 2 people who have made my life here on bed rest much more pleasant this week.  First up is my mom.  My mom came in for 3 days this week and kept me company.  While here she did all of our laundry, went grocery shopping for me, and made meals for us so that I only had to heat things up all week.  It was also super nice to have company while Tom was gone each day.  It sure made things a lot less lonely.  My second big shout out goes to my friend, Katie.  She has been my number 1 cheerleader this pregnancy!  She is always there to listen to me whether I am crying, laughing, freaking out, or just bored.  I already mentioned all she's done to help keep me busy, but she also brought me a frozen coffee this week and brought her sweet Josie along, who always brings a smile to Auntie Erin's face.  As she was leaving I was telling her I had no fruit in the house and it was all I was craving.  An hour later she showed up with a box full of fruit for me!  It was so yummy and I was truly touched by her kindness. 

Katie and my mom are just 2 of the people who have touched me this week, however.  My neighbors help out and are constantly asking if we need anything from the store, a friend from church stopped by with his munchkins to make me smile, my Aunt Nancy came by for a visit (with caramel chocolate cupcakes in tow), and countless people have texted or called to check in on me.  Some days I don't know how many more weeks I can survive bed rest, but it's the great people in my life who keep me going!  Tom and I truly are blessed!

Well, we are off to one of our routine doctor's appointments this afternoon.  I am looking forward to getting out of the house and seeing my little guy on the screen.  I am bringing my doctor some treats today! She deserves them this week!

Robbed

Yesterday after I got home from my appointment I once again laid down on the couch and after my mom and niece left I perused the Internet as I usually do.  I went to one of my favorite websites for pregnant women and went to my "bed rest support" group.  I read the women's post.  I often find solace in these ladies' posts because only they can really understand how I am feeling.  Only they know the real fear, discomfort, and boredom we women on bed rest live each and every day!  We celebrate with each other when we make it to an important milestone like 24 weeks.  We grumble or build up each other when one of us is struggling.  We cry with each other when one of us loses a baby or have a bad doctor's appointment.  We share ideas on what you can make for lunch quickly on a trip to the bathroom (you can only have a pb&j so many days in a row) or your favorite snacks that you can keep bedside and that don't need refrigeration.  This is our norm!  We can all relate how exciting and scary it is to go to your doctor's appointments each week and see our doctors.  Our doctors have become our BFFs these days!  And so like I said...I read the posts, left a comment or two, and then thought "I should look at the December 2013 Birth Club Page."

I should start this part of my entry today by saying I do not mean to diminish anyone's pregnancy or symptoms.  I recognize fully that I am abnormal in this situation.  I am the freak here!

Anyways, I began to look through the list of posts and here were some of the titles:

"I peed myself when I sneezed." (Haven't we all at this point?)
"So Embarrassing!!!" (apparently she has a hairy belly)
"Nursery colors"
"MIL keeps referring to baby as 'her baby'"
"Take home outfits for winter"
"Estelle or Isabelle/Isabella"

I found myself reading a lot of these posts and laughing in some ways.  I am ashamed to admit that I found myself scoffing at what I felt was silly worries and thoughts.  Yes, there were some serious posts, and even a few moms that had lost a baby, but many of them were trivial.  I began to think I wish my biggest concerns were if my belly was getting hairy, if I peed my pants every now and then, and if I couldn't decide between blue or green for the nursery walls.

I shut down my computer and went on with my day.  But later last night I began thinking, "Those women aren't trivial or silly (well maybe a few of them), but they are just excited to experience pregnancy for the first time and welcome home a little bundle of joy in a few months."  I realized that what actually happened is that I have been robbed of this joy.  Instead of worrying about nursery colors, I worry if I should even set up a nursery? Should we have a baby shower before Noah is born or would after be safer...just in case.  Ultrasound appointments mean buying 2 more weeks of peace or 2 more weeks of hell and it's all a crap shoot!  Should I take the tags off the clothes I bought when I still had that joy and peace? Did I sit in the chair too long today? Did that put too much pressure on my cervix?  I don't say all of this for pity, but rather for a greater understanding my reality and my mind processes.

And you know what?  It makes me sad.  I want to be one of those women worrying if I picked the right name for my child.  I want to set up my son's nursery without fear and trepidation.  I want my visits to the doctors to deal with my birth plan over just planning how we are going to get me to a point where I can birth my son and he can survive.  In so many ways I have been robbed. 

And so I made a plan today!  I am going to stop letting myself be robbed of this pregnancy.  Our future is unclear and unfortunately my doctors and I are doing all that we can to keep little Noah baking for as long as possible...the rest is out of my hands.  But I am going to try and let myself get giddy every now and then.  Enjoy my growing belly.  Look at baby items online and maybe even order a thing or two.  I am going to begin a craft project for his room and my mom is going to help me start organizing some of the baby items we have already.   My reality is going to change, but my attitude about my reality can.

7 Quick Takes:Take 17...17 Weeks Pregnant (and 5 days)

Isn't that convenient that my Quick Takes have aligned with my weeks in pregnancy??  17 weeks and 5 days pregnant! Amazing that we are nearing the half way point!  It's Friday and once again my hubby is working from home today.  I love having some company...especially these days. So let's do this!

***1***

Speaking of pregnancy, there has been a lot of pregnancy talk these days!  First, a friend of mine who has been trying for a very long time to get pregnant just let a few of us know that she is expecting!  I can't remember the last time I was so excited for someone!! God is so good!  Another friend of mine, Mary, is at the end of her 7th month of pregnancy and really struggling with insomnia and a slew of other pregnancy issues.  She needs our prayers! Another young girl from our church found out she's pregnant, and I pray God will bless her with the full knowledge and responsibility needed to care for a child.  Another friend of mine is going to get an ultrasound today after some scary bleeding earlier this week.  She too knows the pain of losing a child and I am praying that everything is OK.  Finally, I heard of another baby taken to heaven this week.  Pregnancy is something else! It is the most beautiful and awesome responsibility out there, but I will say as I have said before, it is not all bows and butterflies.  It's hard work, it's scary, and it is not for the weak of heart and mind. 

***2***

I wanted to update you all on my pregnancy as well.  This Monday we went to the doctor and although nothing looked horrible, my cervix was slightly opened and shortening.  I cried in frustration once again and after seeing both of my doctors in a mere few hours, I came home to begin my latest adventure in modified bed rest.  Thankfully, I am still able to move about and am not completely glued to the couch, but I do spend roughly 75% or more of my day on the couch or in bed.  It's really frustrating and lonely.  I look forward to times when I can get out of the house and sit at someone else's house.  I try to limit my walking as much as possible, but I am trying to keep my sanity as well.  It's frustrating.  Last night, I was sitting outside watching my husband pick up a boat load of bark that our tree keeps dropping for no apparent reason and then do a variety of other odds and ends and I just started crying.  There are weeds to be picked and chores to be done and I can do any of them.  You may think that sounds lovely, but it really isn't.  Tom works long days and does what he can once he gets home and I do have some other help that comes in, but it is frustrating to just have to sit.  My neighbors must think I am the laziest person on the planet.  Regardless, it's for a good cause.  Please offer a little prayer for us.  Especially that my cervix stabilizes and that little Noah stays safe.

***3***

Friday, before all the drama began, Tom and I took a trip down the Detroit River.  It really was so, so enjoyable! We celebrated one year of marriage and spent time with each other.  We enjoyed some fine Beatles' tunes, took in some beautiful sights, and snuggled up as we made our way down the river.  Apparently, the USPS delivers on the water! It was so cool to see the little boat come our way and then deliver our pizza just as we went under the Ambassador Bridge.  The city of Detroit looks way cool from the water and you almost forget that turmoil it is in as you take in the sights and lights.  It was a perfect date and celebration of surviving a year of marriage.







***4***

I would just like to say to all of you who whined about the cooler temperatures we had earlier this summer.....ARE YOU HAPPY NOW??? That's all....

***5***

Tom and I continue on our journey of Dave Ramsey's "Total Money Makeover."  We have learned a lot already and of a lot of his no-no's we are doing pretty good....other than buying cars and leasing them.  Hmmmm...we will have to revisit those decisions later.  We've been eating at home and I've been spending less and it feels pretty doggone good so far.  It has also opened up a greater communication about our finances, which is very important.  Now it's only been a week, but I feel like we are building some good momentum! Wish us luck!

***6***

We have 2 celebrations to attend to this weekend.  (I can't wait to get out of my house and sit at someone else's house!!!)  Tonight we get to celebrate one of our favorite 1 year olds! Yay Judah!! And tomorrow we get to celebrate my cousin Jessica's graduation from high school! She received a scholarship for softball to Uof M-D (both Tom and my alma mater) and we are very happy for her! I can't wait to be around good friends and family even if it is for a short time each day!

***7***

This past weekend my husband also pushed me in a wheelchair around 2 street fairs.  It was lovely! (and stinkin hot!) We bought mostly books for Noah!  We both are suckers for good books.  My favorite is "A is for Ark: Noah's ABC book"  He sure is going to be one lucky little boy!

Well folks, that's all for now!  Sunday's high is 79!!  Enjoy the cool off!  I can't wait to open up our windows and let some fresh air in!  For now, however, I am more than grateful for our central air!  A life saver!

7 Quick Takes:I'm Back!

It's been a busy couple weeks and I realized that I haven't done my quick takes in a few weeks! I am sure you were all disappointed and just waiting with baited breath for my return! Well wait no longer!

***1***

Well, I think I will start off with the biggest news!  We are 2 days away from celebrating one glorious year of marriage!  I really can't believe how much I've learned about being a wife in this past year.  I can honestly say that my husband has taught me how to be a better woman and wife.  He's tried to help me learn "not to sweat the small stuff."  My husband has taught me about being a team and learning to ask for his help.  My husband has taught me how to fight fair and calmly (most of the time) and my husband has shown me the closest thing possible to Christ's unconditional love.  I can honestly say I love my dear husband more and more each day and I can't imagine a better man in my life.  They say the 2nd year is the hardest (especially adjusting to a new born) but we are going to do our best to make it an even better year!


***2***

Speaking of our anniversary, part of our wedding package was that we get a free cake on our first anniversary that is the exact same cake as our wedding cake!  Well, TODAY IS THE DAY!! I think we might be most excited about this part of celebrating our anniversary! My husband especially!  He loves cake!!! (And any other dessert there is out there...)


***3***

This week Tom and I sat down and did some family financial planning.  We were inspired by our friend Mary who just celebrated being debt free on Dave Ramsey's show in Tennessee.  Luckily, by comparison to many Americans, we aren't in major debt, but we do have some and we would really like to eliminate as much as we can.  Especially those pesky store cards with ridiculous interest rates!  So we sat down and made a plan and are both excited to tackle this debt in the next year.  We already started by paying off Kohl's this month.  (I know they are going to miss me....)  We went last night and bought Dave Ramsey's book and workbook and hope it will keep us on track and excite us to stay serious!


***4***

Part of our financial plan led us to looking at what we spend frivolously.  And looking at the past month we realized that we were eating out WAY TOO MUCH! So we decided to cut ourselves down to eating out only 2 meals a week.  So it's back to Pinterest for me!  I actually do enjoy cooking and don't know why we got so out of habit (other than pregnancy nausea and fatigue.) 

***5***

Tonight to celebrate our vacation and anniversary we are going on a little dinner/dance cruise out of Wyandotte on the Detroit River.  There is a Beatles's band playing and I went out and bought a special outfit to wear that doesn't involve a cotton tshirt!  I am looking forward to a romantic cruise on the river just my hubby and me!  I will be packing my anti nausea medicine just in case!

***6***

Although I am as sick of the rain as the rest of you, I have to tell you that it has done wonders for my garden!  Since this is my first year planting a garden so I was a little nervous!!  Needless to say I haven't had to do a darn thing and my tomato plants and herbs are flourishing!  One positive shout out for the rain! (Our water bill thanks you too!)

***7***

Our cat makes me laugh every day!  Today she is extra cuddly and sweet!  She honestly makes me smile every day!



Well folks...we are off to the bowling alley with Tom's niece and nephew! I get to be the cheerleader and Uncle Tom gets to show the kids his skills!  Have a great weekend everyone!!